MockMom is our own little satirical corner — a place for parents to laugh about the ridiculousness associated with parenthood. Enjoy!
Again, I’m very deeply sorry that I’ve offended you. Next time I’ll just leave the baby at home alone with a pizza.
Inspired by our Commander in Chief, Suburban Lifestyle Barbie is an archetype doll made for clean, educated, respectful women- just like you!
I had just finished manicuring the shrubs when a well-built man in his mid-thirties, wearing dri-fit Nike shorts and slip-on Vans, approached me.
Over the weekend, a surprising force pledged support for Donald Trump in the 2020 election.
I guess the problem started when I planted the potted plant in honor of our eldest daughter, Karla’s, achievements.
By MockMom With this year being a complete dumpster fire, I almost forgot what it was like to feel my loins on fire but then I binge-watched Zac Efron’s new Netflix show ‘Down to Earth’ and WOW, I HAVEN’T FELT THIS FERTILE SINCE JASON MOMOA’S LAST MOVIE. In his new show, Efron travels the world […]
The idea was simple: raise funds to transform our garage into a self-contained, locking, soundproof room.
If you don’t have children of your own, your opinions will mean a lot more because they are coming from an unbiased source!
For example, Spiratze said that married female participants saw a 69% decrease in their partner’s annoying requests for late night blow jobs.
By MockMom I’ve never really been able to pull off the romper look without looking like an overgrown toddler. Then I saw this particular romper in the store and had to have it. It was light and comfortable and perfect for the summer heat. And most importantly, it fit me without any visible camel toe. […]
So this Saturday, put on your Sperrys and get ready to rage at the 1st Annual Chad Lives Matter bash.
As sure as the sun will set and the moon will rise, this recipe is guaranteed to impress everyone who tastes it.
An advice column by Elizabeth James and Nick Parker, the Mom and Dad in The Parent Trap (the 1998 remake, starring Lindsay Lohan).
Has your child’s normal camp been cancelled? Then your camper will love these once-in-a-lifetime pandemic-themed camps!
Act like it’s never happened before, even though it’s a regular occurrence in that disaster area known as the family room.
This is not breaking science news, but in conjunction with other sources, it provides a titillating possibility.
Buttplugs Inc. is taking all the following precautions to ensure the safety of our customers and shippers during this time:
The following is a transcript of the most iconic interview to happen since Barbara Walters sat down with Monica Lewinski to discuss her spunk soaked dress.
You may have to explain that when you went to Germany for the first time a few years ago, you learned your signature dessert isn’t authentic at all.
Are you willing to trade a little taste and nutrition to feed your family’s yap holes and put everyone to bed already?
Richard Wetphart exposes a leaked memo that provides definitive proof that COVID-19 is a hoax.
a lot of you have been asking about my quarantine fitness routine (QuarFit by Anna), and I’m so excited to share it with you today! I KNOW that you can do it – I believe in you!
By Jillian Pretzel It’s a warm afternoon and I’m feeling hot. So hot, in fact, that I know I had to have it right then: frozen yogurt. I need to have that plain tart flavor in my mouth, those curves of smooth goodness, covered with ripe blueberries and smothered in seductive chocolate brownie bits. So, […]
Getting really excited by the idea of an activity and then losing interest as soon as it’s set up.
I looked in my review in horror as my child’s agonized face came to the realization that it was time. FIRE IN THE HOLE!
By Chad Baudet First of all, I want to say right off the bat that I think you mothers are awesome. I mean, wow, you gave birth to a child, or maybe more than one. As a man, I’ve been told that I shouldn’t try to relate any of my experiences to childbirth, but we’re […]
We’re not talking about an at-home spa day or a fancy brunch. We’re aiming much, much lower.
By Christine Koehring of TheSaltyMamas.com Let’s face it, quarantine is a weird time to be a Mom. Our kids are out of school, happy hours with our friends are done over Zoom, and we can’t sit on a park bench drinking coffee with our friends while we pretend to watch our kids. But there is […]
Come down to the kitchen and clean me. I’m waiting for you. We can be clean again. Together.
From now on, when and IF this ever ends, I have found a new form of self-care that can help me deal with the problems that plague us all.
By Mandi Em of Healthy Living for Hot Messes 15 healthy snacks to keep you fueled up while churning butter and cutting prairie sod for Martha’s rooftop Can bumping around in your wagon stimulate ovulation? We asked 10 women’s husbands if we could ask them and find out! Mindful milking- how your chores can double […]
As we started to run low, I started testing alternatives to toilet paper knowing that the end of our stash was coming soon.
Are you looking for a healthy, all in one meal for your picky toddler? Look no further! Just follow these twenty easy steps…
Ever since I read a coffee table book about meditation in 2008, I have recognized the immense importance of being spiritual.
A fledgling god gives advice to America in order to save them from the extinction they may very well deserve.
Within weeks, you could spot only tumbleweeds rolling down the paper product aisles. One could say, we were up shit’s creek without a paddle.
How would you like to be boiled alive and then fully submerged in a tub of dyes, chemicals, and vinegar?
12.) Should I cut my own hair? I will cut my own hair.
11:50 Unroll your family’s 3rd to last roll of toilet paper. Drag it through mystery puddle.
Read The Hunger Games, watch The Hunger Games, then live The Hunger Games.
“There must be some black-market delivery service out there that I don’t know about. I hope they wear gloves.”
Create a tapestry of despondence and self-loathing. Add human blood for a pop of color.
I like to apply the same principles to kids as I do to poker: always have a pair and a spare.
“We’d hate to suggest that talking openly and honestly about the female body is somehow acceptable.”
When asked why she didn’t report the incident to authorities, the woman quietly replied, “If you were a woman, you’d know.”
“We’re gonna keep on going until that sacrilegious bullshit is banned. And unlike that fruitcake primate, we’re not monkeying around.”
Maybe even better than what our guy-we’d-like-to-have-a-beer-with Elliot has is what he DOESN’T have (a vagina, for example).
Ladies, it looks like we finally have something to look forward to each month other than those stretched out yoga pants and heating pads.
We’re guessing that some man bitched so much to his wife about being sick that the virus couldn’t take its host’s incessant whining anymore.
Deck Cadet went the entire day in dry undies and even managed to deposit a stool sample within the confines of a Target bathroom.