MockMom is our own little satirical corner — a place for parents to laugh about the ridiculousness associated with parenthood. Enjoy!
Withhold affection from your child, then one day begin to say the words, “I love you,” but never
let the word “love” fall from your lips.
Whether it’s during the final episode or budget discussions, a “shocking surprise twist” is likely.
We are thrilled to welcome Lilliana, our school’s first vampire student, to our Turning Fours classroom!
I see you standing on the sidelines, your perfectly rounded potbelly accentuated by the sun glinting off of your gigantic gold chain.
The only thing my son has learned from fourteen months of distance learning is how to turn a playground argument into a chat box argument,
While it’s important to applaud hoarding precious items during a crisis, we also need to be mindful of the world around us.
You went through all of that trouble just to have a potential 30-minute break while your kid finds someone else to play with.
So naturally, I now have no choice but to walk into the ocean to embrace my fate as an old sea hag.
This letter will turn into a novel if I list all my missed opportunities in my twenties and thirties to refine my skills in forecasting the future.
Whatever your toddler is drinking probably isn’t so very dangerous and poison control is tired of hearing from you anyway.
If you want to be more involved in your kids’ education, you might want to start reading those emails instead of immediately deleting them.
All Minnesota parents will be able to opt-in to virtual parenting options starting this month under emergency order.
“George doesn’t have to be curious all the time. Maybe sometimes he’s Angry George, or Ambitious George, or Sad, Confused, and Tired George.
Where the siblings stumble upon the gingerbread house of a witch… but she’s not a hungry cannibal
“Cottonelle: We’re here to help you fulfill all your vandalism needs!” the ad proclaims. “Try our mega rolls for the ultra shenaniganning experience!”
That doesn’t mean that there’s not still a sexy spark deep within my epiglottis that longs for the good old days of dating and fellating.
Who has time to work all day, clean up after kids, do the housework, rock in the corner and cry, make some impromptu Amazon purchases in the false hope that they’ll somehow restore purpose to your life, consider faking your own death and flying to Fiji, and then cook dinner on top of it all?
I guess I’m going to have to find another way to get my fitness on while simultaneously expressing my inner sexy beast.
These brothel-like establishments are luring women in with empty promises of relaxation, fitness, and ‘escape’ time
The popular toy production company, known for its interlocking bricks and iconic “minifigures,” is being slammed for creating a “toxic environment for children”
I’ve added a pair of truck nuts to him. Because as a patriot, I think we need to stop not sexualizing children’s toys! THIS ARGUMENT ACTUALLY MAKES SENSE IN MY HEAD!
The sales associate suggested that mall security guards check Eddie Bauer and Pottery Barn. “Or there are these stores called Talbot’s or Chico’s. That’s where my grandma shops.”
Without Kombucha, our lives would have been like all other boring millennials, focused on rising the corporate ladder, saving for retirement, and paying off the mortgage.
We are living in unprecedented times. There’s no question that Covid-19 has taken a toll on our mental, physical, and emotional health. The virus has shut down businesses, overtaxed healthcare workers, put a financial strain on small business owners, forced parents into the hell known as e-learning, and killed over […]
It started out just like any other day: I posted a selfie on Instagram and then spent about an hour mindlessly watching alpacas on TikTok. But then, by mid-afternoon, I noticed something strange…Not a SINGLE person had liked my daily selfie. Not one.
Yet still, I couldn’t fight the beast that swelled inside me, so I did the right thing and married the man.
Men are sexually attracted to their burnt-out, exasperated, at-the-end-of-their-proverbial-rope female partners now more than ever.
I don’t think I could find my own literal asshole if not for the map app on my phone.
Comparing ourselves to others is a recipe for unhappiness, even if you are the best mom in the world.
This guide will take you through the 32 quick and easy steps you need to help your child access their virtual learning experience!
I DID chuck a chair, but I DID NOT intentionally hit one of the council women. I mean, I did hit her, I just didn’t mean to.
A tendency to look for things orally which entails asking a female cohabitant where something is located instead of doing a more thorough search
Neighbors… can’t live with ’em, can’t bump ’em off without serious jail time, amirite?
What a year it’s been! I got to know my cat better, specifically her cleaning rituals, and I became besties with my grocery delivery person. What. A. Year.
If your child would like to include a message you can simply add it in the comment box at checkout and Dale-the-intern will whisper it into the ether for Father Christmas to hear.
Yes, Santa’s magical powers enable him to creep on every child in one night, but we just don’t know if Santa has been washing his hands for the full A-B-C song.
You have no obligation to cater to the unreasonable demands of the peanut gallery that you yourself created.
This moment is for us, and although I want to stuff it all inside my mouth at once, I pace myself and wait.
It appears though as if even the most involved helicopter moms have simply lost the will, and are willing to let anything fly in order to help their sweet Landon learn.
Write so large that only one word fits on your entire worksheet, making your parent clench their fist tightly.
Nothing made sense anymore. We were told to reach across our desks and embrace the opposition, but how?
My heart overflows with love for those who have not yet ascended, however, it soars even higher when I think of how wonderful we are.
Eric and I, however, have forgotten how to sleep and instead spend our evenings trying to locate the lost dreams of our youth.
We take the health and wellness of our clients very seriously. Please accept our advice with your future health care providers and trust the expertise of medical professionals.
To atone for my past transgressions, I will delete my critical tweets, and formally apologize to all fans of Black Panther, which now includes yours truly.
Joy and merriment drip down into my teeth as I scroll past your pathetic #happyfallyall pics.
I am not going to sit down and list my reasons for choosing the names I did. Gregory and I stand behind our choices.
Unfortunately, the bar has been raised by other parents-to-be and it is up to you to toss it up even higher into the air.
I know that with your upcoming trial dates and indecent exposure charges, you will likely be kept fairly busy.
As you hone in on the details of what is escaping their wordhole, you determine, “this is either a time share presentation or a college campus tour.”