MockMom is our own little satirical corner — a place for parents to laugh about the ridiculousness associated with parenthood. Enjoy!
To atone for my past transgressions, I will delete my critical tweets, and formally apologize to all fans of Black Panther, which now includes yours truly.
Joy and merriment drip down into my teeth as I scroll past your pathetic #happyfallyall pics.
I am not going to sit down and list my reasons for choosing the names I did. Gregory and I stand behind our choices.
Unfortunately, the bar has been raised by other parents-to-be and it is up to you to toss it up even higher into the air.
I know that with your upcoming trial dates and indecent exposure charges, you will likely be kept fairly busy.
As you hone in on the details of what is escaping their wordhole, you determine, “this is either a time share presentation or a college campus tour.”
Don’t worry about being dubbed “that one gloriously unhinged parent” or being regarded as “difficult.”
Life is fragile, and the parts that sparkle are all around, even when you can’t see them through your rosé covered glasses.
Previous social traditions are wiped out in order to make room for mandatory new ones.
So I decided to put one of the biggest medical cautions to the test: “smoking will kill you.”
How to put your child in a time-out without feeling so meta and other tips for parenting in the time of Corona
Last Wednesday, Sara Olsen, local nurse and mother of two teenagers, sent a simple text message that had her family convinced she was mad at them for a solid week.
The one about why fourth grade homework needs to be so complicated, and what result did everyone get for that one Common Core math problem?
If you haven’t been living under a rock, you’re familiar with these two rising stars in the conservative ranks.
By An Anonymous Mock Mom In response to educational changes occurring in the wake of the global pandemic, the world has issued honorary Doctorates in education to each parent with a child who is participating in the K12 system. Although many deem it an irresponsible decision, parents are generally thrilled with the newfound power their […]
Is the coffee you drink from a locally sourced, non GMO, of original origin, with a splash of organic oat milk served in a mug made from repurposed clay left over from your children’s art project.
I’m not sure you understand how difficult it is to live in a house full of other people day in and day out doing the same thing over and over and over.
These local pre-teens are congregating in a circle, on their bikes, and their masks don’t cover their noses.
I apologize to my colleague, and all women in general, for thinking that giving this show a proper review was a man’s job. It simply cannot be done.
I know what you’re thinking, “Owen, you’re 7 years old, what could you possibly know about buying a car?” As it turns out, quite a bit!
So continue with your practice and be patient. It will come. Once you feel you’re ready, it’s time to give it a go.
Again, I’m very deeply sorry that I’ve offended you. Next time I’ll just leave the baby at home alone with a pizza.
Inspired by our Commander in Chief, Suburban Lifestyle Barbie is an archetype doll made for clean, educated, respectful women- just like you!
I had just finished manicuring the shrubs when a well-built man in his mid-thirties, wearing dri-fit Nike shorts and slip-on Vans, approached me.
Over the weekend, a surprising force pledged support for Donald Trump in the 2020 election.
I guess the problem started when I planted the potted plant in honor of our eldest daughter, Karla’s, achievements.
By MockMom With this year being a complete dumpster fire, I almost forgot what it was like to feel my loins on fire but then I binge-watched Zac Efron’s new Netflix show ‘Down to Earth’ and WOW, I HAVEN’T FELT THIS FERTILE SINCE JASON MOMOA’S LAST MOVIE. In his new show, Efron travels the world […]
The idea was simple: raise funds to transform our garage into a self-contained, locking, soundproof room.
If you don’t have children of your own, your opinions will mean a lot more because they are coming from an unbiased source!
For example, Spiratze said that married female participants saw a 69% decrease in their partner’s annoying requests for late night blow jobs.
By MockMom I’ve never really been able to pull off the romper look without looking like an overgrown toddler. Then I saw this particular romper in the store and had to have it. It was light and comfortable and perfect for the summer heat. And most importantly, it fit me without any visible camel toe. […]
So this Saturday, put on your Sperrys and get ready to rage at the 1st Annual Chad Lives Matter bash.
As sure as the sun will set and the moon will rise, this recipe is guaranteed to impress everyone who tastes it.
An advice column by Elizabeth James and Nick Parker, the Mom and Dad in The Parent Trap (the 1998 remake, starring Lindsay Lohan).
Has your child’s normal camp been cancelled? Then your camper will love these once-in-a-lifetime pandemic-themed camps!
Act like it’s never happened before, even though it’s a regular occurrence in that disaster area known as the family room.
This is not breaking science news, but in conjunction with other sources, it provides a titillating possibility.
Buttplugs Inc. is taking all the following precautions to ensure the safety of our customers and shippers during this time:
The following is a transcript of the most iconic interview to happen since Barbara Walters sat down with Monica Lewinski to discuss her spunk soaked dress.
You may have to explain that when you went to Germany for the first time a few years ago, you learned your signature dessert isn’t authentic at all.
Are you willing to trade a little taste and nutrition to feed your family’s yap holes and put everyone to bed already?
Richard Wetphart exposes a leaked memo that provides definitive proof that COVID-19 is a hoax.
a lot of you have been asking about my quarantine fitness routine (QuarFit by Anna), and I’m so excited to share it with you today! I KNOW that you can do it – I believe in you!
By Jillian Pretzel It’s a warm afternoon and I’m feeling hot. So hot, in fact, that I know I had to have it right then: frozen yogurt. I need to have that plain tart flavor in my mouth, those curves of smooth goodness, covered with ripe blueberries and smothered in seductive chocolate brownie bits. So, […]
Getting really excited by the idea of an activity and then losing interest as soon as it’s set up.
I looked in my review in horror as my child’s agonized face came to the realization that it was time. FIRE IN THE HOLE!
By Chad Baudet First of all, I want to say right off the bat that I think you mothers are awesome. I mean, wow, you gave birth to a child, or maybe more than one. As a man, I’ve been told that I shouldn’t try to relate any of my experiences to childbirth, but we’re […]
We’re not talking about an at-home spa day or a fancy brunch. We’re aiming much, much lower.
By Christine Koehring of TheSaltyMamas.com Let’s face it, quarantine is a weird time to be a Mom. Our kids are out of school, happy hours with our friends are done over Zoom, and we can’t sit on a park bench drinking coffee with our friends while we pretend to watch our kids. But there is […]
Come down to the kitchen and clean me. I’m waiting for you. We can be clean again. Together.