In today’s “news” news, a cute story has emerged after over 40 newscasters around America have been seen wearing the same dress this month. No, it’s not one of those “wear this or that to raise awareness for….” It just so happens that these ladies have found the world’s most flattering garment from Amazon. The dress…
Dystopian Fashion Is Here Because Literally Everything Is Terrible Now
2017 hasn’t been the best year. There is widespread civil unrest. Our president likes to antagonize world leaders via twitter. The doomsday clock is two and a half minutes to midnight. It’s hard to get out of bed these days, let alone decide what to wear. Fortunately, the Creatures of Comfort clothing line is here…
I’ve Been Looking at the Shoe Section at Justice for 15 Minutes and I Want My Life Back
It’s back-to-school season, and you know what that means: new clothes for kids to show off to their classmates–classmates named Renfro, or Mary-Charlie, or Cambleton, or some shit. God, I hate these stupid modern children’s names. And do you know what I’ve found through hours of useless internet research? Kids’ clothes this year are just as ridiculous…
Crotch Charms: The Accessory We Never Asked For
In the latest edition of “What fresh hell is this?” I’m going to tell you about an accessory for your, um, accessory. It’s crotch charms. Japanese company BoDivas is responsible for “the Beachtail,” a panty pendant meant to hang from your bikini bottoms. Picture a dangly earring, but for your danglers. (What? Is it not normal…
New Program, Prime Wardrobe, Proves Why Everyone Loves Amazon
Thanks to the internet, people have been shopping from their sofas for years. God bless you, internet. There is nothing better than shopping for new gear without being required to interact with other humans. No fuss, no muss, no pants needed. Just a few clicks and BAM—pants on your porch. There’s really only one problem…
Clip-On Man Buns Are Here to Haunt Your Dreams
By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama The man bun has been popularized by Hollywood celebrities as well as guys who enjoy playing ‘Wonderwall’ on their obscure instrument of choice. It’s a hairstyle that screams, “I have the fashion sense of someone with a very specific kind of gluten allergy.” Sadly, not all men are able…
Octopus Buns Are Now a Hot Trend So Just Fire Your Stylist and Hire Me
I am pleased to announce that I am leaving behind my passions of teaching and writing so that I can pursue the career for which I have a true gift: personal stylist. Discovering my gift was a bigger shock to me than to anyone. My approach to fashion and style has often been a utilitarian…
A Middle School Girl Goes Viral for Her Poem, “Why Am I Not Good Enough?”
A 13-year old girl named Olivia Vella has become an overnight sensation after her powerful slam poetry assignment went viral on the internet. Reflecting the daily struggles to fit in, be beautiful, and be respected that plague middle school girls, her words have resonated with so many that the video has been viewed over 27…
Women Are Putting Wasp Nests In Their Vaginas And Shockingly, This Is A Bad Idea
This just in: it has been confirmed by a doctor that it’s dangerous to put a wasp nest in your vagina. In related news, don’t put broken shards of glass, porcupine quills, or jagged scraps of metal in there either. Gynecologist Jen Gunter is warning women against trying the latest WTF beauty trend that suggests putting…
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