You could always set up an industrial Hazmat foyer for decontaminating your kids every time they enter the house.
SPM
These Hilarious Tweets Show How Much Parents Rely On Coffee
Sure, children are a blessing, but let’s not forget about the real miracle here! All hail coffee.
24 Memes About the Hell and Hilarity of Holiday Shopping
Ahh, the holidays. Who doesn’t love the crisp winter air, the crackling fire, the sounds of sleigh bells coming from your kids’ bedroom because somebody thought it would be a good idea to get them an entire instrument set so they could perform their rendition of Jingle Bells for the […]
17 Marriage Advice Tweets To Keep The Love Alive
Not all marriage advice is created equal, but some of it is funny as hell.
10 Valentines for Old Married People
Ah, Valentine’s Day. The age-old (commercially created) holiday where lovers declare their undying commitment to each other through flowers, songs, chocolate, and overpriced greeting cards. When I was young and dating, Valentine’s day was something special. My then-boyfriends would try to impress me with poetry and a sexy evening. And […]
Celebrate Betty White’s Legacy with Her Funniest Quotes and Raunchy TV Moments
Update 12/31/21: Our beloved Betty has moved on to the next gig, having passed away at her home this morning, report several news outlets. Our tribute to Betty’s 99th birthday highlighting her funniest and raunchiest moments follows. Enjoy, and may Betty’s banter live on in the next world. ******* Betty […]
The Funniest “CDC Says” Tweets to Make You Cackle Today
On the heels of the CDC’s recent announcement that they are now recommending 5-day quarantines instead of the previous 10 for people who have tested positive for COVID-19, people are understandably confused and upset. For many, this news signals that the government agency values capitalism over human lives (I mean…), […]
Dear New Neighbor: Please Let Me Explain
Hello, new neighbor, and welcome to the neighborhood. I wanted to apologize for not stopping by to say a proper hello and welcome; I feel terrible for being so rude. I saw you wave this morning and I wanted you to know I was trying to wave back. Turns out, […]