Married people can still exchange real, authentic valentines. Like how about celebrating that even though your husband lost his hair, at least his dick is still there?
Humor Sex and Relationships SPM/MM

10 Valentines for Old Married People

Ah, Valentine’s Day. The age-old (commercially created) holiday where lovers declare their undying commitment to each other through flowers, songs, chocolate, and overpriced greeting cards. When I was young and dating, Valentine’s day was something special. My then-boyfriends would try to impress me with poetry and a sexy evening. And being young and broke, that usually meant reading a poem over a shared bottle of cheap wine and then getting busy for hours.

But what happens when your LAST boyfriend turns into your first (and hopefully last!) husband and the father of your kids? When his hair has gone and your abs are non-existent? Well, you have to adjust, people. Life and marriage is all about change and compromise.

So here are a few Valentines for those of you who have been with your partner for a quite a while and need some inspiration.




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About the Author

Jennifer Weedon Palazzo  is the creator of, an online network of snarky comedies for moms including Slummy Mummy, Slacker Mom, Double Leche, Blabbermom, and MomCave LIVE. When she’s not writing about the funny side of being a mom for sites like Scary Mommy and Mamalode, Jennifer can be found eating Reese’s Cups while furiously bidding on vintage clothing on eBay. After 18 years as a Manhattan-ite, she now lives in the Berkshires with her husband, Evan, bandleader of The Hot Sardines and their two kids. Follow her on Twitter @MomCaveTV, Facebookand visit