If you really do want to spend a quiet evening out with friends without getting blackout shit-hammered, it might not hurt to keep these accelerants in mind.
May your sunscreen be strong, your sprinkler be sturdy, and your kids be happily occupied without leeching onto you every 12 seconds. Amen!
The Gregory Brothers are out here dropping auto-tuned delights for our funny bones.
Have you ever played that game “Would You Rather,” where someone gives you two horrendous options and you have to decide which of the two is slightly more bearable?
Oh how I long for the days when a fiver meant I had the world at my fingertips. I could literally buy all that AND a bag of chips.
So we brave a rare outing to do what Americans love most—stuffing their pie holes.
And then one day, if you’re really lucky, they’ll have teenagers too and the circle will close. Ahh, the sweet smell of justice!
Here’s to looking good! Or to looking awful with the best intentions. After all, it’s the thought that counts… right?!