By Heather Sadlemire We were sitting in the backyard on one of the first warm June nights when my 3-year-old presented me my “dinner” of plastic eggs and a washed out mold of spaghetti. Both were fresh out of the shed, which was haphazardly closed up over winter, so they were covered with a thin…
I’ve Been Looking at the Shoe Section at Justice for 15 Minutes and I Want My Life Back
It’s back-to-school season, and you know what that means: new clothes for kids to show off to their classmates–classmates named Renfro, or Mary-Charlie, or Cambleton, or some shit. God, I hate these stupid modern children’s names. And do you know what I’ve found through hours of useless internet research? Kids’ clothes this year are just as ridiculous…
How Government Waiting Rooms Can Drive Anyone to the Brink of Insanity
By Colleen McCardell of Are We There Yet? The room was sweltering. A single metal fan in the corner turned slowly, barely moving the air. My skirt stuck to me and my thighs slipped on the hard plastic chair, covered in sweat, the crack in the middle of the seat pinching my legs every time…
Crotch Charms: The Accessory We Never Asked For
In the latest edition of “What fresh hell is this?” I’m going to tell you about an accessory for your, um, accessory. It’s crotch charms. Japanese company BoDivas is responsible for “the Beachtail,” a panty pendant meant to hang from your bikini bottoms. Picture a dangly earring, but for your danglers. (What? Is it not normal…
What a FitBit Would Track if Moms Designed It
By Jamie Sumner of The Mom Gene I will never own a FitBit. It might destroy me. I have just enough OCD to view each day as an extension of the one before—a staircase descending to self-improvement hell. My nature runs contrary to continual data. After a month, I’d be Forrest Gump-ing it—running across country…
How to Help Your Partner Breastfeed
By Colin Bennett of Holy Sh*t I’m A Dad So, the mom of your child decided to give breastfeeding a go. Congratulations! Breastfeeding is obviously a great thing for mom and baby, when it works. But just because breastfeeding doesn’t actively involve you doesn’t mean you’re out of the woods. Like everything in parenting, this…
It’s Sexy Time, Girl
By Colin Bennett of Holy Sh*t I’m A Dad Aw yeah, girl, it’s going down tonight. You’ve had a hard day at work, and I’m gonna treat you right. I got everything ready for you – I put all the old coffee mugs in the sink, I put the trash cans on the curb, and I…
Netflix Series ‘American Vandal’ Asks Crucial Question: Who Drew the Dicks?
In a move to both parody its own successful true crime documentaries and titillate viewers, Netflix is releasing an entire series, titled ‘American Vandal,’ devoted to answering the question that has plagued American society for ages: “Who drew the dicks?” The series, which is reportedly airing September 15, follows the investigation into Hanover High School…
Maybe He’s Born With It
By Melanie Lemoine of Is It Just Me? Stories of Love, Life, and Mothering After recently reading an article about women’s body confidence, I wasn’t at all surprised at the complexity of this issue. There is a ton of shame, and we have to be really careful not to shame. Confidence is good, but it can also…
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