I’m trying to get ready for my wife’s c-section. What do I wear to a birth? Do I bring a book? Magazine? Noise-cancelling headphones?
Why do we do this to ourselves? Wasn’t Santa enough? When wasn’t Santa + the Elf enough? Now he has clothes and a pet? WTF is wrong with us?
How about a “congrats on your new baby, now everyone babysit so mom can nap” party instead?
Everyone could use a laugh after Halloween while they’re wrangling their kids off the ceiling all hopped up on Jolly Ranchers and mini Twix bars.
The Nest was supposed to make our lives easier as it climate-controlled our house. But really it’s dividing us as it simultaneously cooks us and freezes us out.
Momming and adulting is hard AF; you deserve to tuck in early.
You DESERVE that candy you’re totally going to steal from your kids. Y’all deserve nice things too.
Take some time to show some love to the weird bitches in your life! And if you don’t know one, then it’s probably you.