If you’ve ever wondered what those decals on car windows really mean, we’ve decoded them for you. Like, “Salt Life” means “Went to the ocean once.”
You can both give thanks and be the dark lord of terror causing untold trauma and everlasting nightmares to the ones you claim to love.
Spooky season is here and I, for one, am ready to gorge myself at her mysteriously apple-spiced teat.
Sure, children are a blessing, but let’s not forget about the real miracle here! All hail coffee.
Here’s hoping that doesn’t happen and Karen runs out of hot air sooner rather than later. Calm down, Karen.
Although we love our children dearly, that love comes with a steep price. It’s too bad it doesn’t also come with an industrial vat of lemon ginger water.
Pumpkin spice season comes but once a year, and the only proper way to honor it is to practically freebase the shit until it is seeping out of your pores and making you realize that you “literally can’t even.”
Save all your thoughts and prayers for the menfolk! They will need them to deal with this absolutely deadly case of the sniffles.