As a former teacher, I can’t tell you how much I appreciated it when my students and/or their parents would take the time to buy me a gift to thank me for the work I do. Next to seeing a light bulb go off in a kid’s head, it’s seriously one of the best feelings, this knowing we are appreciated.
I do have to say, though, that some of the gifts we receive are sometimes … well … interesting. Don’t get me wrong. I love apples. But a gal can only have so many apples before she starts to dream about turning into an apple herself.
So in an effort to help everyone out there get the teachers in their lives the gifts they REALLY want — and potentially end up on the teacher’s pet list — here are some suggestions guaranteed to make them squeal with delight.
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Bottoms Up
Teachers drink because kids cry. And swear. And throw paper airplanes, spitballs, their own underwear (not lyin’) around the classroom. Just imagine a bad day home with your kid, and then multiply that by 30 (and even more for secondary teachers).
Seriously, though, not all teachers drink, and certainly if they do, it’s not all because of the students, but for those who do, why not allow them to drink in style (and with honesty) with this funny Good Day, Bad Day, Don’t Even Ask wine glass?
They’ll toast to you the next time they’re gettin’ sauced. I guarantee it.
F is for FunnyÂ
You would not BELIEVE some of the things kids turn in to us. Whether it’s innocent drawings with phallic undertones or the most off-base answers to test questions, we have so many stories, we should really write that book.
Oh, look! Somebody already did. And we’d rather read about it than add one more thing to our to-do list, anyway. So wrap up this F in Exams: The Very Best Totally Wrong Test Answers and give the gift of laughter this year. It helps ease the racking sobs we expel on the daily.
I’ll Give You Something to Cry About
We have a tough road to navigate as teachers. Come off as too friendly, and the kids think they can walk all over us. Come off as too mean, and the kids will line our desk chairs with tacs and upload embarrassing videos of us to TikTok.
Why not help us send the right message from the start with this Students’ Tears coffee mug? It says, “I subsist on your misery” and sends the message that we’re not to be messed with without us having to actually, you know, say that.
Just kidding, of course. Teachers love their students (otherwise, why in the world would they do this job?).
But teachers definitely do love coffee. It’s basically the only staple in their diet. And they love humor as well. Two birds.
Make Me Attend One More Meeting About a Meeting…
Few things are as irritating as meetings that could have been emails or, worse, meetings about upcoming meetings. We have shit to do, people (these essays aren’t going to grade themselves!), and attending mind-numbing meetings we’re pretty sure violate the slackest of torture laws can send even the sanest of us into a complete mental breakdown.
Help us channel some of that homicidal rage into a more civilized outlet with this Blah Button.
Everyone Can Hear You
Sometimes we need to send a message, and a stern scolding or a pat on the back just won’t do. Enter these Knock Knock Nifty Notes. For when little Billy won’t stop wiping his boogers on little Sally or when Junior aces that semester exam.
Or for when we’re afraid of what may come out of our mouths if we open them.
Speaking of Opening Our Mouths…
If we had to tally up the phrases we most frequently use in the classroom, I’m pretty sure “No” would come in at number 1: “No, you can’t sleep instead of work,” “No, we can’t have a free day,” “No, we can’t have a contest to see who has the smelliest armpits this week.”
Help us avoid going hoarse with these I Said No! pens. This way we can grade and shoot down dreams at the same time. That’s called multitasking.
Read My Face
As teachers, we have to constantly be on. There’s no hiding out in a cubicle or a storage closet to gather our thoughts. This means that when we’re having a bad day, we have to suck it up and soldier on. For the kids.
Which is why these 29 Emoji Faces are the perfect way to help us communicate to our students exactly what they can expect from us. Whether we’re feeling exhausted, sad, or batshit looney, our kids can know with confidence if it’s a good day to practice farting the ABCs or if doing so just may result in detention.
Motherf*&%$#@!
Some days are worse than others. All we want to do is come home, curl up in a blanket, and swear like a sailor while rage-punching a pillow and drowning our sorrows in an adult beverage or truck full of tacos.
Be the calm in our storm with this Maybe Swearing Will Help adult coloring set. Because we promise you, swearing will definitely help.
Seriously?
We try to leave constructive criticism and touchy-feely words of encouragement on our students’ work while grading, but sometimes we come across something so ludicrous or confusing that our brains effectively turn to mush while attempting to reconcile whatever it is we just saw.
Help us avoid saying or doing something we definitely shouldn’t with this WTF stamp. Because even if we’re not really going to use it on the students’ papers, we sure as hell will find the cathartic release we so desperately need in stamping it all over anything and everything else within our vicinity.
SNOW DAY!
Well, that just isn’t possible. But it sure is fun.