By Heather Jones of hmjoneswriter.com
If you haven’t yet discovered the wonderful world of Facebook buy and sell groups, you’re in for a treat. Where else can you get great finds at great prices, plus entertainment on the side? You can’t beat these groups for kids clothes, toys, household items, and really anything you want – but not quite enough to pay retail for.
With these interesting finds come interesting people. It doesn’t matter which group you join or what type of purchase you are making, the same types of people will make an appearance.
1. The Negotiator
I’ve listed the bike for $100, but sure, I’ll take $3 for it. My listed price was just a suggestion.
2. The Memoir Writer
This person doesn’t just want you to know the pertinent details like price and condition; they want you to know the entire backstory of the item, and their own life story. This sweater isn’t just in great condition – her daughter loved it and wore it to her kindergarten graduation, where everyone said how cute it was. Her grandmother bought it for her for Christmas, and her daughter liked it more than the Barbie her aunt got her. She is so happy to have a daughter, aren’t little girls wonderful? Her first two children were boys, and she and her husband decided to try a new position to conceive this one…
3. The Over-Valuer
“Half-eaten cheese sandwich I found under the couch cushion in my basement. $75.”
4. The Ghost
You spend time nailing down a time for pick-up. You make sure you are home at that time, or dutifully put it out on your porch. And then nothing. No pick-up, no message. Did this person ever even exist?
5. The Cross-Poster
Sure, most people belong to several groups, and it’s reasonable to assume they have posted items for sale in more than one. But then there are those who post the sale item in 37 groups, get 106 people interested, sell to the first one, and don’t bother to inform the others. Don’t be that guy.
6. The Vague-Booker
“Wagon.” Okay, care to elaborate a little? What kind of wagon? Plastic? Metal? Station? Is there a price? Maybe even a picture? Is this wagon for sale, or do you just like typing the word?
7. The Militant Admin
“Please read the rules before posting. Must state condition, exact measurements, precise number of times you used the item, and the date and time of day you originally purchased it. No clothes, toys, appliances, vehicles, things made of fabric, things made of plastic, things made of metal. You must post three photos of the item, including one with your first born child holding it so buyers know you are serious. You have 45 seconds to message the person after stating interested. Item must be picked up in a blue SUV within 5 minutes of commenting. Failure to follow the rules will result in removal from the group and 7 months prison time.”
8. The Liar
There’s no way to sugarcoat this one. Excellent condition, never used? Is it supposed to come with these tire tracks and coffee stains?
9. The Master of Excuses
They didn’t make it Monday because their dog was sick. They didn’t show Tuesday because they just completely forgot, they’re so sorry. Wednesday was a no go, their kid had this sniffles, but next Friday for sure. Whoops, sorry, surprise visit from their mother-in-law. The following week was no good, every member of their family ended up in the hospital and also they got invaded by ninjas. They’ll be there a week from Thursday. Good news! Their sister had an extra one, they don’t need it anymore.
10. The Reseller
Does that stroller being posted for $200 look familiar? That’s probably because it’s the one you sold to them for $50 last week. Or that planter you gave away for free listed here for $20? Yes, once it’s changed hands, it’s not yours anymore, they can do with it as they wish. But they could at least use their own photo.
11. The Bulk Reseller
No, we totally can’t tell that you got that item you’re selling for $10 on AliExpress 600 for five cents. The fact you have said yes to everyone who answered interested was not a tip-off at all.
12. The Could Be a Blogger
Not only is each item carefully labelled, the descriptions could win content awards. The pictures are professional looking, with back lighting and eye-catching accents. I don’t need a new can opener, but damn, I’m tempted.
13. The PM Me For Details
They have a great opportunity for you. What could it be? Is it a great deal? A present? A puppy? You won’t know unless you send them a message! Spoiler alert – it’s a pyramid scheme job opportunity.
14. The Opportunist
This person has the item you put out an “in search of” for! Fabulous! Your kid will be so happy to hear they can complete their set of Happy Meals Emoji toys! And they’re going to sell it to you for only $80!
15. The Interrogator
Does it fold? Will it fit in my trunk? How heavy is it? Did you use it outside? Were you the first owner? Do you have the manual? What color is it on the bottom? What’s the serial number? What was the name of the sales clerk who sold it to you? How many can I stack on my cat before it pisses him off? Why is it called a driveway when you park on it? My girlfriend wants to get married but I’m not ready, what should I do?
So if you’re searching for a deal, you’ve found the right place. But don’t say you weren’t warned.
About the Author
Heather Jones is a freelance writer in Toronto, and mother of two young boys. She is a regular contributor for Yummy Mummy Club and the Savvymom group of parenting websites. Heather has also been featured on the CBC, The Mighty, BluntMoms, The HerStories Project, and several other publications. Read more at hmjoneswriter.com and follow Heather on Facebook and Twitter.