If you’re like me and frequently feel gross about doing your laundry, then here’s a story that will put your laundry emotions over the edge and validate all of those feelings. 

A woman in California has made a claim to a lottery jackpot of $26M but says that her winning ticket was destroyed. The woman told the store manager of the convenience store where she purchased her ticket that she had the ticket in her pocket but put her clothing in the wash, which then destroyed the ticket.

The California SuperLotto jackpot was for the November 14, 2020 drawing. The curse of 2020 still lingers apparently. No one claimed it. Except for the woman who washed her ticket (and I am screaming for her). California lottery officials are investigating the claim. 

Now, I know what you’re thinking because I did too: this just can’t be real. The story seems to have a hint of Fyre Festival scam sprinkled within it. But I too, as some of you, have unknowingly thrown piles of clothes in the wash and within that pile of nightmares is something that shouldn’t be washed, like a credit card or in-ear headphones because let’s be real, we’re not all there. And I have kids, so finding random objects in our laundry is a common occurrence, never a winning lottery ticket thanks to sky daddy, but it’s possible. 

Apparently there is video footage of the woman purchasing the lottery ticket at the convenience where the manager says she frequents. But California lottery officials stated that is not enough evidence to prove she is the winner. The lottery officials said they need a picture of the ticket, front and back, in order for it to be a viable claim and win the lottery. Something the woman cannot do because a laundry machine ate it.

The claim will still be investigated, but holy shit, you guys, the odds of her actually walking away with $26M suck and what a story this is to tell.

If it were me knowing I accidentally washed millions of dollars away… I would need extensive therapy afterwards. But being that I’m in the USA, land of the lawsuits, my only logical solution would be to sue everyone, including myself.

From the manufacturers of the laundry machine, the laundry detergent I used, the company that made the clothing I wore with pockets so tight it felt like I didn’t have a lottery ticket in them, the city water department that pumps water into my home, to myself for actually needing to do laundry in the first place. I’m going to try to collect as many dollars and coins as I can from the emotional distress that laundry has caused me over the years. The washer and dryer can’t win this one too. I’ve suffered enough though I should have known better.

This is all utterly insufferable, I know. But $26 MILLION washed and lost?! Where are those aliens anyway? I would request an immediate abduction.