As we move into 2021 with low expectations, let's take a moment to recall some of the more WTF moments of 2020.
Life SPM/MM Tweets

2020 – A Year in Tweets

2020. The mere number itself is now enough to strike fear into the hearts of anyone who’s been paying attention for the last 12 months. And who’s to argue? This year saw a global pandemic, a radical shift in the way we live and socialize, and an opportunity for us all to experience the worst sort of unsettling limbo. Add to it a nail-biter election, news of aliens, and all sort of other what-the-fuckery, and you’ve got a year we’ll be talking about for ages to come.

As we move into 2021 with low expectations, let’s take a moment to recall some of the more WTF moments of 2020.

2020- A Year in Tweets

1. Remember the Great Toilet Paper Stampede?

As the novel coronavirus pandemic took the world by storm, bitches took to the grocery store to buy up all the… toilet paper?? WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE.

2. Remember when we decided “fuck screen time limits”?

As the world tried to cope with the new normal of pandemic life, parents everywhere adopted the “FUCK THIS” approach to cope with the demands of simultaneously working, parenting, learning new tech, homeschooling, and sorting out how to wipe ass with random household objects thanks to toiletpapergate 2020. 

3. Remember Tiger King?

Luckily we had something to take our minds off the collective fuckery all around us… and it looked like a jacked up meth-head Ken doll with his harem of boyfriends and tigers. Oh yeah, and also murderous plots. WUT.

4. Remember when we all found out what shitty distance learning teachers we are?

When the schools let out we all learned valuable lessons about ourselves. For example, just how shitty we are at being distance learning teachers, and just how much shit teachers put up with.

5. Remember murder hornets?

And if all that wasn’t bad enough, we also had to worry about invasive hornets that were MASSIVE, loved to kill our precious bee friends, and made fantastic panic-fodder for social media. FACKKK.

6. Remember the meteoric rise of Zoom?

Hey. If you had stocks or whatever in Zoom pre-2020 then fuck you and your newfound success. *Cries in digital*

7. Remember when parenting got 10000x more tech-based?

Oh my gawd. As if parenting wasn’t hard enough, this year you were treated to 512 new platforms to make new logins and passwords for. Make sure you don’t drop the ball you technologically-impaired zombie bitch.

8. Remember when we had to be told not to drink or inject bleach?

It really did not get more peak-2020 than this. I know we’re all desperate to get rid of the ‘rona but not like this, OK gang?

9. Remember when we demanded justice for racist bullshit?

After even more senseless murders at the hands of the police, the Black Lives Matter movement gained momentum,  with folks demanding justice against racism and police brutality.

10. Remember when the pentagon confirmed UFOs?

We’ve all seen the videos and questionable interviews with folks claiming to have been abducted or whatever, but the Pentagon shocked us all by actually commenting that a couple of videos in particular were definitely unexplained aerial phenomena. WHAT.

11. Remember that fame-whoring fly that touched that nasty politician?

If you thought having a fly land on you is super gross (like, hello, they hang out in POO) imagine being the fly who spent a whole 2 minutes on Mike Pence. SOMEONE GET THAT FLY SOME COOTIE SPRAY, STAT!

12. Remember that never-ending election and million-year ballot count?

The election. I can’t even begin to summarize the absolute shitshow that was… but the memes were good. Especially about the straggler struggle-ballots coming from places like Nevada.

13. Remember the MONOLITHS?

In November, a lone metallic monolith was found deep in the Utah desert, and Google Earth images shows that it had been there since about 2016 at least. Nobody knows where it came from but many copycats cropped up around the world. Is it aliens? PLEASE TELL ME IT’S ALIENS!!

14. Remember the Galactic Federation?

Speaking of aliens, in 2020 we learned that according to an ex-Israeli space security bigwig, there’s a Galactic Federation, and they predictably don’t really like us very much yet. WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING.

GOODBYE, 2020!

Adios, Sayonara, eat a bag of dicks. Choose your goodbyes, and let’s all cross our fingers that we’re at least a little hardened up for the next year to come.