2020. The mere number itself is now enough to strike fear into the hearts of anyone who’s been paying attention for the last 12 months. And who’s to argue? This year saw a global pandemic, a radical shift in the way we live and socialize, and an opportunity for us all to experience the worst sort of unsettling limbo. Add to it a nail-biter election, news of aliens, and all sort of other what-the-fuckery, and you’ve got a year we’ll be talking about for ages to come.
As we move into 2021 with low expectations, let’s take a moment to recall some of the more WTF moments of 2020.
2020- A Year in Tweets
1. Remember the Great Toilet Paper Stampede?
As the novel coronavirus pandemic took the world by storm, bitches took to the grocery store to buy up all the… toilet paper?? WHAT THE FUCK PEOPLE.
Decades from now my grandkids will ask their parents why grandpa buys a ton of toilet paper every march.
— Dadman Walking (@dadmann_walking) December 12, 2020
2. Remember when we decided “fuck screen time limits”?
As the world tried to cope with the new normal of pandemic life, parents everywhere adopted the “FUCK THIS” approach to cope with the demands of simultaneously working, parenting, learning new tech, homeschooling, and sorting out how to wipe ass with random household objects thanks to toiletpapergate 2020.
Took my kids to the pediatrician yesterday and I told her we’ve barely left the house in 5 months and then she looked at me in all seriousness and asked how much screen time they were getting. I mean… c’mon, lady, read. the. room.
— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) August 15, 2020
3. Remember Tiger King?
Luckily we had something to take our minds off the collective fuckery all around us… and it looked like a jacked up meth-head Ken doll with his harem of boyfriends and tigers. Oh yeah, and also murderous plots. WUT.
Do you guys remember when Tiger King united the world for that brief microsecond 84 years or so ago? pic.twitter.com/uS1BEwQjVr
— Kelly McLaughlin (@KaiInRealLife) December 15, 2020
4. Remember when we all found out what shitty distance learning teachers we are?
When the schools let out we all learned valuable lessons about ourselves. For example, just how shitty we are at being distance learning teachers, and just how much shit teachers put up with.
It's called "remote learning" because of the remote chance my kids are going to learn anything.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) September 4, 2020
5. Remember murder hornets?
And if all that wasn’t bad enough, we also had to worry about invasive hornets that were MASSIVE, loved to kill our precious bee friends, and made fantastic panic-fodder for social media. FACKKK.
Do y’all remember the murder hornet phase of 2020? I really thought that was going to be a bigger deal
— madison (@MadisonYoung_) December 18, 2020
6. Remember the meteoric rise of Zoom?
Hey. If you had stocks or whatever in Zoom pre-2020 then fuck you and your newfound success. *Cries in digital*
Gonna update my CV to say "survived 1000 Zoom calls that should've been an email" as part of my achievements in 2020.
— alanah torralba (@alanah_torralba) May 18, 2020
7. Remember when parenting got 10000x more tech-based?
Oh my gawd. As if parenting wasn’t hard enough, this year you were treated to 512 new platforms to make new logins and passwords for. Make sure you don’t drop the ball you technologically-impaired zombie bitch.
Downloaded 87,642 new apps just to communicate with my kids’ school.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) September 8, 2020
8. Remember when we had to be told not to drink or inject bleach?
It really did not get more peak-2020 than this. I know we’re all desperate to get rid of the ‘rona but not like this, OK gang?
I can’t believe I have to say this, but please don’t drink bleach.
— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) April 24, 2020
9. Remember when we demanded justice for racist bullshit?
After even more senseless murders at the hands of the police, the Black Lives Matter movement gained momentum, with folks demanding justice against racism and police brutality.
I personally think it's really cool how we all went from learning how to make banana bread to learning how to abolish the police in a matter of weeks
— Asma Nizami (@asmaresists) June 6, 2020
10. Remember when the pentagon confirmed UFOs?
We’ve all seen the videos and questionable interviews with folks claiming to have been abducted or whatever, but the Pentagon shocked us all by actually commenting that a couple of videos in particular were definitely unexplained aerial phenomena. WHAT.
dear past self: the year is 2020. while you “go out” on a virtual date under quarantine during a pandemic, the navy will release videos confirming the existence of UFOs, thanks to tom delonge (???)
— rosemary donahue (@rosadona) April 28, 2020
11. Remember that fame-whoring fly that touched that nasty politician?
If you thought having a fly land on you is super gross (like, hello, they hang out in POO) imagine being the fly who spent a whole 2 minutes on Mike Pence. SOMEONE GET THAT FLY SOME COOTIE SPRAY, STAT!
The fly that landed on Mike Pence is going to be on the next season of Dancing With The Stars.
— Dan Regan (@Social_Mime) October 9, 2020
12. Remember that never-ending election and million-year ballot count?
The election. I can’t even begin to summarize the absolute shitshow that was… but the memes were good. Especially about the straggler struggle-ballots coming from places like Nevada.
Nevada left the US on read
— lilswizzy (@MotherPlaylist) November 6, 2020
13. Remember the MONOLITHS?
In November, a lone metallic monolith was found deep in the Utah desert, and Google Earth images shows that it had been there since about 2016 at least. Nobody knows where it came from but many copycats cropped up around the world. Is it aliens? PLEASE TELL ME IT’S ALIENS!!
This year's so shitty the monolith is gonna be Time's person of the year.
— Dad That Writes ☕♏ (@dadthatwrites) December 6, 2020
14. Remember the Galactic Federation?
Speaking of aliens, in 2020 we learned that according to an ex-Israeli space security bigwig, there’s a Galactic Federation, and they predictably don’t really like us very much yet. WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING.
The Galactic Federation lock their doors when rolling by Earth
— Trey (@treydayway) December 7, 2020
Adios, Sayonara, eat a bag of dicks. Choose your goodbyes, and let’s all cross our fingers that we’re at least a little hardened up for the next year to come.