Over the past few weeks, lowly toilet paper has experienced a meteoric rise in popularity. What was once merely a piece of tissue with which to wipe your ass has become a sacred commodity. As the coronavirus has swept the nation, hoarders have stripped the store shelves bare — to the point that many of us have now reached “I have no square to spare” TP status.
Thanks a lot, Jane.
While it’s enough to make you want to cry and order a bidet from Home Depot, you could just try laughing hysterically instead.
In an effort to try to make light out of a shitty situation, many people have taken to social media to showcase just how valuable toilet paper has become in our current coronavirus reality.
And the results are hilarious.
Photographer Kristin Vacca of Newington, Connecticut, and the owner of The Flash Lady Photography, has, like so many others, had to temporarily close her business. But she decided to make the most of her newborn props. In a mock photoshoot, she swapped out a newborn baby for something just as precious. Wrapped in a pink muslin cloth and adorned with a unicorn headband, the single toilet paper roll was the epitome of “bundle of joy.”
The shoot also included photos of the “baby” wrapped in a blanket, cradled in a basket, and cuddling up with 2 teddy bears.
Vacca captioned her Facebook post with the following:
What’s a newborn photographer to do when I can’t photograph my scheduled clients? Use what I have on the next most precious thing! Meet “Baby TP”, 7 days new and oh so loved.
The photoshoot proved so successful that Vacca decided to do another one, this time with a slightly more “grown-up” model.
Baby TP has “grown up”! And since her unicorn newborn photo was most popular, we just had to showcase our unicorn cake smash theme for her first birthday (that’s a 12-pack)!
But she’s not the only one to make light of our newest obsession.
Tipsy Space, a bakery in Chicago, is serving up a TP-inspired cake with a side of REAL toilet paper. The cake? $100. The roll of toilet paper? Priceless.
The cake serves 10-15 people and comes in an assortment of flavors, including Vanilla Cake Dense & Rich, Vanilla Cake Fluffy, Portilliosesque Chocolate Cake, Lemon Cake, and Confetti Cake. There are also three fillings to choose from: Italian Buttercream, Chocolate Ganache, and Cream Cheese Frosting.
While cake is nice, nothing says “I love you” more than a dozen roses. Except for a dozen rolls of toilet paper that say, “You’re full of shit, but I love you anyway.”
And a florist in Arkansas can help you with that. Blossom Events & Florist has started selling toilet paper bouquets. What began as an online joke, quickly became an in-demand item and a viral sensation. The shop is selling the bouquets for $75 and assures customers that they are NOT hoarders. They do, however, enjoy couponing, and have the stash of TP to prove it.
The only catch? They are only offering the bouquets locally. Sorry about that.
It’s not just small business owners who are embracing the lure of the TP either. There are over 500,000 Instagram posts dedicated to what was once considered mere bum fodder. It has officially reached celebrity status.
And people are loving it. The paper we have been taking for granted all of our lives is finally getting the recognition it deserves. And it’s proving that toilet paper isn’t just for wiping anymore.
As gyms have closed around the country, people have had to get creative when it comes to working out.
Say hello to your new workout partner. It’s ultra-strong:
From crass to class:
To modern-day works of art:
Toilet paper has definitely rolled up to the top of the social ladder.
It’s also sparked a shitload of challenges:
Leaving us with very little doubt that TP is the real MVP.
When the COVID-19 crisis finally ends and we go back to living our normal lives, one thing is for certain. We will never look at toilet paper quite the same way again.