You can’t check the news or scroll the internet right now without getting confronted with news about the Covid-19 Coronavirus. Although we are finding the laughs where we can, in certain parts of the world the situation is getting all sorts of real for the vulnerable populations. This is expected to spread, and it’s clear that we are just in the beginning.
By far one of the most concerning aspects of this is the behavior of people. Stores haven’t been prepared for the influx of people who have completely disrupted supplies and cleared out their shelves. Indeed, it does be looking a little “apocalypse-y” if you go out to the stores and see just how eerie the whole experience is. Let’s all be a little friendlier to retail employees these days.
But alas, we laugh so we don’t cry. For many of us, humor is a way to cope with the things we cannot control. And what’s better joke fodder than the possibility of a viral apocalypse and the threat of total social collapse?
12 Quarantine Tweets to Help You Go the (Social) Distance
1. The worst!
Watched the news today.
Do not recommend.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) March 13, 2020
2. Buckle up, child.
“I’M SOOO BORRRRED.”
– my kids, two days into the coronapocalypse
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) March 14, 2020
3. At last, my neuroses get their wings!
Stay home. Avoid gatherings. Get rest. Drink fluids. Obsess about germs.
I've been waiting for this moment my entire life. THIS IS MY TIME TO SHINE.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) March 12, 2020
4. This is fine.
There are two types of shoppers right now: people stocking up like it’s the apocalypse and people who actually need to go shopping but are afraid of the people stocking up like it’s the apocalypse.
— Life at Tiffany’s (@lifeattiffanys) March 12, 2020
5. Also, toilet paper.
LOVE LANGUAGES PRE-COVID-19
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
LOVE LANGUAGES POST-PANDEMIC
Words of Consternation
Acts of Sanitation
— Megan Rikas (@MegsHAUSTED) March 12, 2020
6. Ok, now is NOT the time for being rude.
News: Those most susceptible to the virus are the elderly and frail.
Child: [starts crying]
Me: What’s wrong?
Child: Are you going to die?
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) March 12, 2020
7. Everyone is deliciously fucked.
We should have our own apocalypse version of Chopped. Mystery ingredients are just whatever’s left in Aisle 5 at Kroger.
— a m y (@RacesTacoTrucks) March 14, 2020
8. Gotta say, I’m that second guy.
There are two types of people:
-Those who have a nice stockpile of toilet paper, Purell, hand soap, frozen foods, and canned goods
-Those who plan on facing the apocalypse with nothing but a bottle of whiskey and their wits
— Christy (@CheeseDaydreams) March 14, 2020
9. *They had a head start*
Day 1 of #COVIDー19 isolation: My children are already feral.
— Shannon Brescher Shea (@storiteller) March 14, 2020
10. GOD HELP US ALL
All those apocalyptic movie scenes where homes are completely ransacked and disheveled, but it’s just my house one day after my family began socially distancing to reduce the spread of COVID19.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) March 14, 2020
11. Apparently asswipe doesn’t spark joy…
This grocery store looks like Marie Kondo was here.
— Just Bill (@WilliamAder) March 15, 2020
12. Those 80 granola bars were tasty.
[Quarantine diary]Day 1: Luckily the house has enough food for 4 weeks. Longer if I ration well.
Day 2: I am out of food.
— keith (@tchrquotes) March 16, 2020
At the end of the day, we laugh so we don’t cry!
Make sure to stay safe, take care of each other, and follow along with updates from your local and national authorities to keep up-to-date on how things are progressing. This too shall pass… maybe in a while and maybe with great difficulty, but it WILL get better at some point in the future.
Stay smiling, wash your hands, and be safe!