We all need to eat to live, and when you’re a parent, that responsibility is extended to your littles. Part of the whole keeping them alive thing includes feeding them regularly, and for optimum results you have to actually try and make sure it’s not all goldfish crackers all the time. This is where dinner comes in. That time of the day where you likely put your all into making a wholesome, delicious meal just so you can be told it’s too icky, too nasty — or just be given a silent stare as they throw that shit on the floor.
Imagine you got a job and nobody gave a fuck what you did all day, then came in 5 mins before closing and took all the progress you made and stepped on it. That’s what cooking for kids is like, but unfortunately it’s frowned upon to just lay on the couch throwing Doritos at them so you can be left the fuck alone.
You’ve never heard true complaining unless you’ve heard the reactions of your precious littles when faced with a meal that you worked your ass off for. At best they will stare at it without touching it until they get the sweet release of bedtime, and at worst they’ll tear into your efforts with a tirade that’s typically left to restaurant critics and stern mother-in-laws.
Well, at least you aren’t alone. Most people with kids know this particular struggle as it seems you just can’t feed them anything they’ll like until they grow out of the phase where those crackers that have been sitting in the car seat for 3 months are seen as fine cuisine.
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1. Literally the most terrifying thing you can put a child through
2. Gosh it just brings me sooooo much joy
3. Where’s the maid at?
4. Think of that when you’re tempted to multiply your blessings
5. It’s a fundamental law of nature
6. Wow, what kind of second-class citizen bullshit is this?
7. Looks like it’s cereal for dinner night again, fam
8. Hearing the complaints twice really drives them home
9. If you haven’t even licked a bite then thou shalt not complain, ya hear?
10. Sitting isn’t included in the experience
11. SO CLOSE I CAN ALMOST TASTE IT
12. Multitasking is my specialty, whether I like it or not
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For best results, just make what you like and tell everyone else to fuck off and fend for themselves!
It may not be the right thing to do, but dammit, it sure would feel good.