Parenting is hard. There are the sleepless nights, the crushing responsibility, the cost, the heartache and the worry. Despite being an immensely important job that makes your heart feel full, parenting comes with many challenges. In fact, one might go so far as to say that pretty much everything is just harder once you’re a parent. Shopping, cleaning, showering… It all sucks!
By far one of the most difficult times in a parent’s day is dinnertime. Dinnertime is one of those special vortexes of parenting life that is absolutely soaked in fuckery. From even the earliest days of feeding your newborn, to the struggles of trying to get your older teen to just eat one fucking vegetable, the simple act of trying to feed your family is by far one of the most daunting tasks in a parent’s wheelhouse.
This is on top of the fact that it’s essential to life. By definition, caring for your children includes feeding them… daily! How fucking offensive! Then add in clothing them, entertaining them and trying to keep them clean and out of trouble. For fuck’s sakes, I’m only a mere mortal here.
From figuring out what to feed them, to getting them to actually eat what you make, dinnertime as a parent is a shitastrophe of epic proportions, each step more difficult and soul sucking than the last.
The following is a list of 25 tweets from parents who’ve been there, who are there and who know the very specific and relatable struggle of dinnertime as a parent.
1. It’s where good intentions go to die
You could make your kids a healthy dinner or you could just put $10 directly into the garbage disposal.
— Val (@ValeeGrrl) March 22, 2017
2. Unlike most things, it doesn’t get easier with practice
3. By the time dinnertime comes, we’re all just phoning it in
Omg, do you mind? I'm busy. This dinner isn't going to peel back plastic, stir and add 3 minutes to itself.
— Mary (@AnniemuMary) May 17, 2017
4. It’s undeniably the way to your family’s heart
Me: *hanging off a cliff*
Kids: Mom! Mom! Mom! Mom!
Me: Oh thank goodness! Kids, go get-
Kids: What’s for dinner?
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 9, 2018
5. Your kids will never be happier than when you put in the least effort
When it’s the weekend, and you’ve completely given up as a parent.
4: Can I have Goldfish,
Ritz, and Cheezits for dinner?
Me: Sure. The cracker trifecta is coming your way.
— Erin De Boer (@erin_de_boer) January 27, 2019
6. The only saving grace is the cool nicknames
Breakfast-for-dinner went over like gangbusters till my 6 year old referred to me as the "Sausage Fairy".
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) November 9, 2017
7. Dinnertime–bringing people together since that “too salty” stew of 2012
Dinner is a great time for my family to come together to tell each other exactly what is wrong with the meal I made.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) March 20, 2018
8. Don’t like my pace? Make it your damn self.
Ways to die:
– Complaining to mom that dinner is taking too long
— Sara Buckley (@nottheworstmom) August 15, 2018
9. It’s like being in front of a panel of tiny asshole judges
Having four kids is a great way to get four different opinions on why what you’re cooking for dinner is the worst.
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) March 4, 2019
10. I’d love it if you could stay out of the kitchen so as not to crowd the cook(ies)
Parenting is telling your kid they can't have cookies for dinner.
Then shoving the cookies into your mouth as soon as they're not looking.
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) April 22, 2015
11. People don’t understand the work we put in to make this magic happen
Typical. 2yo is refusing to eat because she loaded up on crap while I made dinner.
I gave her all that crap so that I could make dinner.
— Janina Maria (@dontlosethekids) August 24, 2016
12. Some things are certain in life, like death and taxes and always having to feed these people
Vacation: so my husband and I can beg the kids to eat their dinner in a more exotic, expensive location.
— Janina Maria (@dontlosethekids) July 5, 2018
13. Ok, but real talk- breakfast for dinner is the shit; 10/10 would recommend
Breakfast for dinner is mom code for I have zero fucks left but I wanna have fun with it
— Life at Tiffany’s (@lifeattiffanys) October 18, 2018
14. Dinnertime is a multilayered tragedy
Husband: What's your deepest fantasy?
Me: That when our kids eat dinner they don't leave any crumbs under the table.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) October 2, 2016
15. Seriously. When will it ever end?
I’m starting to get really annoyed that my family expects me to come up with dinner ideas every. single. day.
— Celeste Yvonne (@andwhatamom) November 28, 2017
16. It’s like being a slave but unpaid. That’s nice
My New Year’s Resolution is to have half the confidence of my child who walked into the kitchen and announced he was “ready to place his dinner order”
— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) December 14, 2018
17. Why is it so hard?!
Know what class in high school did not prepare me for adulthood? AP Calculus
Know what class I could really have used? How to make dinner for 4 people 7 days a week
— Celeste Yvonne (@andwhatamom) November 18, 2017
18. I’m not a liar, but in the clinic anything goes
Doctor- What does your 1 year old like to eat?
*Flashback to last night when she only ate an Oreo*
Me- Broccoli. She enjoys broccoli.
— All These Kids (@whyallthesekids) October 20, 2017
19. Ask me literally anything else please
I want to reinvent myself as anyone other than the person that's asked what's for dinner tonight
— ~*Wellness Witchery*~ (@TheMandiEm) April 11, 2019
20. Fun fact: If it’s called “dinner” they won’t like it. #facts
It amazes me how confident my kids can be about not liking a meal that's NEVER BEEN SERVED TO THEM BEFORE IN THEIR LIVES.#parenting
— All These Kids (@whyallthesekids) November 2, 2015
21. It’s technically healthier than a pizza, so you’ve got me there
22. THE HORROR
A horror movie for toddlers, but it’s just being asked to eat four peas at dinner time.
— Mother Haggard (@MotherHaggard) December 12, 2018
23. Look kids, this isn’t a concierge *fetches more snacks*
Me, from 5-8 PM: Please eat dinner.
Toddler, from 5-8 PM: I'm not hungry.
Me, at bedtime: OK, time for bed.
Toddler: I'm hungry.
— The Mom at Law® (@TheMomAtLaw) December 18, 2017
24. If you mom really hard, then it can be considered a hobby *yayyy*
— Jessica Levy (@jesslevy) June 8, 2018
25. At dinnertime the less you know, the better it is for all of us
To avoid dinner time meltdowns from my toddler, I only make "chicken".
Beef = Chicken.
Fish = Chicken.
Pork = Fancy Chicken.
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) July 19, 2017
Hey, if all else fails, at least there’s always tomorrow to try again! And the next day. And the next. Forever and ever.
Make sure you share this shit so your fellow parents can see they aren’t alone. At the very least, it might give them something to read while they smuggle biscuits in exile in the kitchen!