Right in the midst of a hellish pandemic and associated condom shortage, a gleaming beacon of fuckery shone in the distance and it’s name was Tiger King.
Netflix dropped the instant classic Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness and it was just what we needed to cleanse our palate from the joyless landscape that is the news these days. The docuseries follows Joe Exotic and a ragtag cast of tiger-enthusiasts and other such cool cats and kittens.
This series is truly such a shitshow I cannot even begin to sum it up here. Let’s just say we’ve got animal rights issues, sardine oil, missing husbands, meth, and polygamous gay marriage. This shit definitely checks all the boxes of YOU CAN’T MAKE THIS SHIT UP.
Honestly this whole thing was like if the Jerry Springer Show was a docuseries. It’s pure trash and fuckery. And honestly, it’s just the gross distraction we deserve.
[adsanity id=”35664″ align=”aligncenter”/]15 Tweets About the Shitshow Circus That is Tiger King
1. It’s complicated.
Me explaining #TigerKing to my mom:
There's a magician, meth head, tiger tamer, country singer, gay polygamist, an Alex Jones type but with live tigers in his videos, and presidential/gubernatorial candidate.
Mom: that's too many people to track
Me: oh that's just one guy
— Pete Stegemeyer (@itspeterj) March 24, 2020
2. And now, for something completely different!
I can't stop laughing about this meme #TigerKing pic.twitter.com/AlPUjs1Yvw
— TP (@ttaylorpaige) March 31, 2020
3. Nobody could have seen this coming.
Another reason I stopped planning so much is because if you would’ve asked me in January what I’d be doing in March, locked inside learning about the life of a gay, redneck tiger breeder would not have been my answer
— ment nelson (@mentnelson) March 26, 2020
4. The apocalypse is just so… tacky
Cannot believe these turned out to be the four horsemen of the apocalypse… I- #TigerKing pic.twitter.com/d7ghMFssRK
— famous philosopher cockrates (@cumbcore) March 30, 2020
5. Buckle up, indeed.
https://twitter.com/randypaint/status/1242482919626739713
[adsanity id=”35667″ align=”aligncenter”/]6. All of this checks out.
This is the most important graph I've been sent at work today #TigerKing pic.twitter.com/agK2ZsCexv
— Rachel Tilghman (@RachelTilghman) March 30, 2020
7. Arguably the most reasonable player in the whole fiasco.
You know #TigerKing has a crazy cast of characters when the DRUG LORD who SMUGGLED COCAINE IN SNAKES only makes a brief cameo. pic.twitter.com/WHqVUHlw7H
— Brennen® (@brennencharles) March 31, 2020
8. Accurate AF.
https://twitter.com/Fish_Monger9864/status/1244847599468851201
9. More costume changes than the Superbowl.
Homegirl got her arm ripped off by a tiger and Joe Exotic’s first move was to throw on the EMS bomber. The drip never takes a backseat. #TigerKing pic.twitter.com/FkOksCiGRs
— Cowboy Ceaux (@_ceaux) March 25, 2020
10. Choose wisely.
[adsanity id=”35665″ align=”aligncenter”/]Who you got? #TigerKing pic.twitter.com/BwoqUggXWN
— Anna (@jemmasmommy) March 28, 2020
11. I don’t judge how you spend your pandemic time, so you better not judge how I spend mine.
https://twitter.com/rendog48/status/1243879479052767236
12. All true!
U know #tigerking is wild when the most level headed people are
•a guy who chose his arm to be amputated rather than have surgery to still have a hand
•a meth head with 4 teeth in a 3 way marriage
•This guy filling a petrol can, smoking, in a van full of more petrol cans?? pic.twitter.com/UMMV1aPGs2
— LightningMcWeen (@Elle_Rigby) March 27, 2020
13. It’s got EVERYTHING.
This is the best thing I’ve ever seen #TigerKing pic.twitter.com/FuSOdzUKRo
— jordyn (@JordynSassafras) March 27, 2020
14. Buried in a sea of WTF moments.
https://twitter.com/stinkyjoker1/status/1242692415561109504
15. They’re all trash TBH.
Joe exotic, Carole Baskin & Doc Antle trying to figure out who’s exploiting big cats #TigerKing pic.twitter.com/Hm8mycshrV
— Darcey Weatherill (@darceyweather1) March 25, 2020
Being stuck inside might be crazy but it’s nowhere near as crazy as the dullest moments on Tiger King.
Seriously, you just need to watch it to truly get what level of crazy this is. And once you do, you’ll probably regret it, but hey, that’s just how she goes! It’s like junk food for your brain, but my god, you just can’t stop binging the whole damn thing.
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