Now, we're all smart people here and surely know what the acronym U-F-O stands for, right? That's right: Unidentified. Flying. Object.
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BREAKING NEWS: The Government Declassifies Video Proof of UFO

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In case you missed it, a video was finally released to the public that showed a UFO.

Now, we’re all smart people here and surely know what the acronym U-F-O stands for, right? That’s right: Unidentified. Flying. Object. That first word is kind of key. Say you get mugged in a dark alley, and the police round up 7 suspicious persons, but of those 7, you’re unable to properly identify which one stole your pearls. That’s the end of the story. The criminal goes free. And you only had 7 possibilities. Imagine all of the things this dark blur could possibly be.

If this still doesn’t resonate, let me allow Neil deGrasse Tyson to explain:

There’s a fascinating frailty of the human mind that psychologists know all about and it’s called ‘Argument from Ignorance’ and this is how it goes:

Somebody sees lights flashing in the sky.. They’ve never seen it before. They don’t understand what it is. They say, ‘a UFO!’, the ‘U’ stands for ‘unidentified’ so they say ‘I don’t know what it is! It must be aliens from outer space visiting from another planet!’. Well, if you don’t know what it is, that’s where your conversation should stop. You don’t then say it must be anything. -Neil deGrasse Tyson 2009

In an interesting twist, the videos were previously leaked a couple of years ago by a group named To the Stars Academy of Arts and Sciences, co-founded by Tomas M. DeLonge. Does that name sound familiar?

 

 

 

 

 

 

How about now? Tom DeLonge was once a founding member of Blink-182, the biggest pop-punk band in the world. Of course he is no longer with Blink because he’s bat shit crazy and got the boot. DeLonge has been talking about aliens long before his departure from the band. In 1999, he wrote the song “Aliens Exist,” which includes the lyrics,

What if people knew that these were real
I’d leave my closet door open all night
I know the CIA would say
What you hear is all hearsay
I wish someone would tell me what was right

But now DeLonge has gone on the be a part of a mission to expose the truth about the universe, and boy has the Internet showered him with praise:

But let’s get back to the heart of the matter: these videos show nothing concrete. And just to be transparent, I happen to believe in life outside of this planet. I’m not exactly sure what it looks like because I’ve never seen it and I’m not even a scientist. And neither is Tom motherfucking DeLonge. Furthermore, if the government is declassifying the videos, isn’t that more evidence that they show nothing?

In the end, we’re exactly where we started, but I guess it was something for people to get their minds off of the COVID shit. In the future, let’s all use our common sense when confronted with something someone calls “definitive proof” and make sure we don’t act like Kevin.

 

 

 

 

Kevin, if the God you speak of created the entire universe, is it possible that she also created life elsewhere? Let’s not be so egocentric, Kevin.