Man Doesn’t Understand Why His Wife Is Always Exhausted


A local husband is very concerned for his wife, who claims to be exhausted despite getting a full night’s sleep.

Doug Ellison, 37, says he first started to worry about her after he watched the kids one Saturday morning so that she could sleep in.

“When we went to check on her at around 9 a.m., she was still exhausted,” he said. “Despite getting nearly ten hours of sleep, she still drank about three cups of coffee that morning and was as irritable as always.”

Doctors were called in to analyze the data on her Fitbit to see why one night of sleep was not enough to revive the mother of two.

“She really shouldn’t be this exhausted all the time,” Doug lamented. “I got up before her and I feel great.”

According to the logs, she went to bed at approximately 11:00 p.m. but woke up repeatedly during the night and had several periods of restlessness.

Once Misty Ellison’s coffee kicked in, she sat with experts to explain the disrupted sleep patterns.

1:00 a.m. Cat starts kneading my skull. He gets shoved off the bed.

2:37 a.m. Check on screaming 2-year-old son. Pee.

3:00 a.m. Cat returns.

3:57 a.m. Toddler is screaming again. Shove Doug repeatedly. Bring son into bed.

3:58 – 6:00 a.m. Get kicked in ribs or punched in face every time I fall into a deep sleep.

6:00 a.m.  Son is up for good. Is taking turns poking my husband and me in the face while singing the Finger Family song. I keep my eyes closed and wait for it to wake Doug.

6:20 a.m. Take son into living room so he can watch Daniel Tiger. Fall asleep on couch.

7:15 a.m. Daughter comes in and asks why I slept on the couch. I tell her to watch her brother and crawl back to bed.

7:30 a.m. Doug’s alarm went off because he forgot to shut it off for the weekend. I pretend I’m sleeping.

8:00 a.m. Son comes running in crying, wondering where I was. Husband is MIA. I pee.

8:30 a.m. Finally fall back asleep.

9:00 a.m. Doug comes in with both kids to tell me it’s time to start the day.

“None of this makes any sense,” said Doug. “I wish she would have just woken me up if she needed help with the kids. I didn’t hear a thing.”


About the Author

Ali Hanford is the prep and comedy director for an independent radio network and has had her work published on sites like Scary Mommy and Mum.Info under the alias Allie G. She currently hosts the “I Can’t Even” podcast (, a show for women on the higher end of the millennial spectrum. When she isn’t being bossed around by her toddler, you can find her seeking contact with other adults on Twitter @ali610.