All monies in support of the GoFundMe page mentioned in this article will be used for disadvantaged families who can’t post their lives on social media.
Limited-Edition Trump-or-Treat Candy Bars to Hit Shelves This Month
Zist says that the sales projections for Trump-or-Treat bars are “very, very good, and really, really not bad.”
100 Things to Pack on the 100th Day of School
Everything you bring must be certified organic and made in America. Performance art, including 100 farts on command, don’t count for this assignment.
Potential Presidential Candidates That Would Be Better Than Trump
A neglected port-a-potty: It’s probably less full of shit than Trump.
New Version of Popular Paleo Diet Guaranteed to Change Your Life
“Eating rocks has literally changed my life. I tried swallowing an entire geode and inadvertently died, and now I no longer feel trapped in a body I don’t love.”
E-commerce Company Wish Breaks Into School Supply Market
As part of their new school supply line, you’ll find things like vagina erasers, kevlar backpacks with studded dick zipper-pulls, and pencil sharpeners that give you polka dot stamp-herpes.
Mother Tells Kids ‘It’s The End Of The World,’ Regrets It As World Actually Ends
Let this be a lesson to all parents – mocking your kids could bring about the end of civilization as we know it.
Mom Forced to Work 6 Weeks Postpartum Can’t Adopt Puppy Until It’s 8 Weeks Old
“Apparently I have to wait until the puppy is 8 weeks old before it can be separated from its mother” she said, rubbing her sleep-deprived eyes.