All monies in support of the GoFundMe page mentioned in this article will be used for disadvantaged families who can’t post their lives on social media.
Zist says that the sales projections for Trump-or-Treat bars are “very, very good, and really, really not bad.”
Everything you bring must be certified organic and made in America. Performance art, including 100 farts on command, don’t count for this assignment.
A neglected port-a-potty: It’s probably less full of shit than Trump.
“Eating rocks has literally changed my life. I tried swallowing an entire geode and inadvertently died, and now I no longer feel trapped in a body I don’t love.”
As part of their new school supply line, you’ll find things like vagina erasers, kevlar backpacks with studded dick zipper-pulls, and pencil sharpeners that give you polka dot stamp-herpes.
Let this be a lesson to all parents – mocking your kids could bring about the end of civilization as we know it.
“Apparently I have to wait until the puppy is 8 weeks old before it can be separated from its mother” she said, rubbing her sleep-deprived eyes.