By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin Mama
RALEIGH, NC ⏤ Mom of three, Halley Miller, who works full time and until recently was virtual schooling all of her kids, took a much-needed break from cleaning and was promptly buried alive by all the crap her family produced in ONE week during the summer.
Just yesterday, Mrs. Miller was pulled from the debris, which primarily consisted of juice boxes, Capri Sun wrappers, and mysteriously wet clothes and towels. She is recovering in a local hospital but is still understandably shaken up.
“I just wanted to take a couple days off. By the third day, the trash had reached our knees. I thought for sure that my husband or three kids would eventually give in and help out, but they just played video games. The pile grew until it reached the ceiling. Luckily, our neighbor Jane opened the sliding door and some of it spilled out into the backyard, and I came surfing out on a pile of Freeze Pop wrappers that had all stuck together.”
Jane was unavailable for comment but was also taken to the hospital as a precaution following the trash landslide.
Mr. Miller and their three children were unharmed. Their oldest, Nathan, 16, who goes by “Nate Dog,” said, “I was in my gaming chair when it all happened and I guess I didn’t notice. I thought mom was just being dramatic as usual, no cap.”
When asked for clarification on what “no cap” meant, Nate simply rolled his eyes and walked away.
Mr. Miller was also busy when the incident took place. “We were all playing Minecraft together and I guess we got distracted. I’m building a hotel. Not that I care about Minecraft. Wanna see it?”
We spent the next 10 minutes having to look at the Miller family’s progress in Minecraft.
When asked if she regrets the incident, Mrs. Miller said, “Well I haven’t had to cook or clean the whole time I’ve been in the hospital. I can lie down and watch whatever I want. I even read a book! No doubt I’ll have to burn the house down and start again when I get out of here, but it will have been worth it.”
*****
About the Author
Joanna McClanahan, AKA Ramblin Mama, is a writer, humorist, and voicemail avoider who lives in the Pacific Northwest with her kids, husband, and cats. She works full time as a Branded Content Editor for Scary Mommy, The Dad, and Fatherly. You can find more from her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and TikTok.