To the casual observer, Lonnie and Laura Barron looked like they had everything: a loving relationship, a beautiful home, lucrative jobs, the freedom and expendable income to go on vacation without having to buy the “family package.” But the thing they wanted most was a child to share their lives with – and that just wasn’t happening.
“We were hoping to conceive on our honeymoon,” says Laura wistfully, tears forming in her eyes. “We wanted kids from the first moment we said ‘I do.’ But here we were, still just the two of us.”
After three long years of trying in vain to conceive, the Barrons had turned to home remedies for help.
“We feng shuied the whole house,” Lonnie states. “We invested in a top-of-the-line turkey baster, and Laura started a strict daily regimen of low-dose aspirin and herbs crushed up in cough syrup.”
“I charted my basal body temperature and stood on my head for exactly three hours after intercourse to help the sperm reach its destination,” says Laura. The Barrons also enlisted the help of a voodoo high priestess and various clergy and strategically buried fertility charms throughout their yard.
Despite their best efforts, each pregnancy test remained negative. They decided to consult a fertility specialist and try to conceive with medical intervention. After undergoing a battery of tests, the Barrons were given some disheartening news: Lonnie’s sperm count was critically low, and Laura’s ovaries weren’t functioning properly.
The specialist gave their chances of conception a grim prognosis, but they went ahead with the invasive and expensive procedures, ready to have a baby at any cost. Their lives became a blur of injections and egg retrievals as they attempted in vitro fertilization, or IVF.
“After our fifth failed IVF, I was really depressed,” Laura recalls. “But then at a family reunion, my Great Aunt Maisie gave us some life-changing advice. ‘Just relax,’ she told us. And it was like a light bulb lit up. Of all the things we’d tried, of all the routes we’d taken, I couldn’t believe we’d never thought of this.”
The Barrons immediately booked a four-day excursion to Belize where they drank mai tais and read books on the beach. By the last day of vacation – though they wouldn’t realize it for another few weeks – Laura was pregnant.
“It really is that simple,” says Lonnie. “You can do all you want to overcome your low sperm count or your dysfunctional ovaries, but if you’re not relaxed… well, prepare to remain childless.”
“I just wish we hadn’t wasted so many years, and so much money, trying other things when the solution was right in front of us,” adds Laura, cradling their long-awaited bundle of joy. “We made it so hard on ourselves when all we really needed to do was chill out. If we hadn’t followed Aunt Maisie’s advice, who knows what we’d be trying now?”
About the Author
Rita Templeton is a harried Midwestern mother of four boys. Her work has appeared on Scary Mommy, The Huffington Post, The Mid, and more, and she is proud to be a part of two anthologies. When she isn’t writing for other sites, she hangs out on her own blog, Fighting Off Frumpy. Follow her on Facebook, or find her on Twitter or Instagram.