Finding Mr. (or Mrs.) Right is hard these days, amirite? Sure you could join Tinder and spend countless hours applying filters and sifting through all of the possibilities. Left, left, OMG deeeeefinitely left. You could waste precious time reading profiles and obsessing over whether or not he (or she) is a raging psychopath underneath that charming smile. And once you finally do take the plunge and swipe right? You could then spend every waking moment wondering if you’ve made some horrible mistake and regretting ever signing up for online dating in the first place.
Or, you could just forget all about online dating and try a completely new, if rather, unorthodox way of meeting your one and only.
Like firing up the old Ouiji Board that’s been collecting dust in the back of your childhood closet, for example.
Sort of like this woman. 32-year-old Amethyst Realm, a self-professed “spiritual guidance counselor,” who decided to forgo a traditional relationship with someone with an ACTUAL BODY and instead chose to be with someone a bit more, spiritual. As in a ghost. Without a body. Or the ability to speak.
Mmmm’kay.
According to Realm, her paranormal love story began in 2018 on a business trip to Australia. She admits that this wasn’t her first phantom paramour, having had at least 20 previous ghostly lovers. However, he was different.
She told The Sun that he was “very ancient, very wise, very kind” and boasted that “he’s been on the planet for a very long time.”
Okie Dokie.
Ray (Mr.Ghost) clearly felt the same connection. He hopped (or glided? whatever the hell ghosts do) on a plane with Realm back to England. They even consummated their love mid-flight, becoming members of the Mile High Club (and am I the only one with questions here?)
9 months later, Ray proposed. But he didn’t get down on one knee. Because he doesn’t actually have knees, obviously.
It seemed that they were destined to live happily ever after.
“We’re soulmates, meant for each other, and that’ll never change. The fact that he’s a spirit is by the by.”
Yeah, about that…
In an interview with Britain’s ITV This Morning, last week, Realm revealed that things did, in fact, change. Or more importantly, Ray changed, on a recent trip to Thailand. And not for the better. It would seem that Ray took to “disappearing” a lot. I know, the irony.
Realm told the morning hosts:
“We’ve called the wedding off. It was going really well until we went on holiday. He completely changed. I think maybe he fell in with a bad crowd when we were on holiday. He just started becoming really inconsiderate.”
So much for being “very kind.”
She went on to say:
“He’d disappear for long periods of time. When he did come back, he’d bring other spirits to the house and they’d just stay around for days. I think he started doing drugs and partying a bit much. He used to come back and these spirits would stay for days at a time. There’d be crashing and banging and strange noises.”
https://twitter.com/thismorning/status/1316333688838381570
Apparently Wikipedia needs to update its description of ghosts to include “a spirit of a dead person composed of a misty, airy, or subtle material” who may or may not like to do drugs and party too much.
And as for Tinder? Is looking pretty damn good right about now.
Ultimately the two love birds decided to call off the wedding and go their separate ways. In Ray’s case, presumably right back on over to the other side. Although Realm may want to sage the shit out of her house just to be sure.
And while the eternal’s love may not have turned out to be, well, eternal, at least Realm saw right through him BEFORE they tied the knot.