Humor SPM/MM

Woman Joins Tinder to Get Help Moving Couch from IKEA

The lengths we’ll go to in order to get furniture moved from one place to another know no bounds. If you don’t have a pickup truck or trailer of your own, you’re stuck begging family, friends, and neighbors for a little assistance. If you don’t know anyone with a pickup truck or trailer, well … you’re stuck joining Tinder in an effort to find someone who does have one to help move your new couch from IKEA to your home.

Kelly Rosner, of Sylvania, OH, found herself in just that position. Desperate to get her new Friheten couch from the Canton, MI IKEA to her home, Rosner decided to do what anyone in her position would: join Tinder in search of a person willing to meet for a “first date at IKEA.” The only other requirements? “Must have a truck” and “no murderers.”

Seems fair enough.

Rosner’s profile is itself a stroke of genius. Not only is she 100 percent honest about what she is looking for in her description, but her profile pics hands down make her irresistible. Featuring her holding a “urine collection container” and pretending to sip from it, who could resist?

Perhaps even more hysterical than Rosner’s profile are the messages she receives from potential “suitors” and her responses to them.

 

If I thought Rosner was desperate for her couch, it was only after I read the messages of all the right-swipers that I understood what true desperation was. Guys, if a woman says she’s looking to meet at IKEA with you and your truck, that’s not a euphemism for something else. She legit wants you to meet her there, move some shit, and then go on your merry — SEPARATE — ways.

Not sure whether Rosner ever got her Friheten couch. Maybe she ultimately decided to go with the Lugnvik despite the storage issues. (Hey, beggars can’t be choosers.) Regardless, this woman wins Tinder User of the Decade for her ingenuity, honesty, and humor.

And for her fortitude in dealing with the thirst of every man within a 100-mile radius.