By Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama
Marriage isn’t always easy. But sometimes, when things get tough, I like to keep things in perspective by reminding myself that dating was so much worse.
In the age of smartphones, dating apps, and nudes, I think it’s safe to assume dating has gotten even weirder over the years. Awkward silences are bad enough, but now people have to worry about things like dick pic etiquette? Let’s just say the Cloud has seen some serious shit. The Cloud might need therapy, actually.
But the awkwardness of dating is timeless; here are 18 tweets which prove just that:
MODERN DATING IS DIFFICULT
DO I SWIPE RIGHT
DO I SWIPE LEFT
OR DO I JUST RETURN TO THE WOODS WHERE LIFE HAS ALWAYS MADE SENSE
— NOT A WOLF (@SICKOFWOLVES) June 16, 2016
Is it “panic attacks” or “anxiety attacks?”
I want my dating profile to be perfect.
— Vodka n Tots (@Vodkantots) June 9, 2015
“So what do you worry about for fun?” -me on a first date
— Jake Weisman (@weismanjake) April 10, 2011
Dating is collecting information about someone until you realize you don’t like them
— AmberTozer (@AmberTozer) September 17, 2013
[Date arrives wearing a turtleneck] Him: What should we do?
Me: May as well just go ahead and dump my body in the woods right now.
— Jackie Bouvier (@jackiembouvier) October 12, 2016
Hi, welcome to dating. These are your two options:
1. Stay together forever
2. Break up
— Spanky McDutcherson (@thatdutchperson) October 5, 2014
Me: “Toilet paper, over or under?”
Me: *flips table* NEXT!!!!!
— Stinky Green (@StinkyGr33n) June 18, 2015
me: [raises hand] my date: again, that’s not necessary
— chuuch (@ch000ch) November 10, 2014
(Me, texting) This is awful. She’s boring, has no sense of humor & rude
Her: You know you speak out loud when you text, right?
— Meh Lang Syne (@TheAlexNevil) January 5, 2017
*brings vasectomy paperwork to speed dating*
— Balls Deep (@ThRealBallsDeep) January 22, 2015
If you love someone:
1. Set them free
2. Drunk dial them
3. Read too much into their FB posts
4. Make them feel sorry for you
5. Die alone
— Josh Hara (@yoyoha) May 27, 2013
*on a first date*
Me: [remembering how my friend said women like mysterious men] my favorite color is a secret
— Nathan Usher (@thenatewolf) September 14, 2015
date: So what do you do?
me: *pulls out stuffed fox* I’m a taxidermist
date: Oh wow
fox: and a ventriloquist
— dan mentos (@DanMentos) April 28, 2015
i ask my dates the important questions upfront like “are you cool with a harry potter themed wedding”
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) November 5, 2013
~on a date~
Date: what are your hobbies?
Me: I’m very passionate about eating pizza
— B (@Briidashian) February 10, 2017
What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates:
1. Nice shirt.
2. Wow. A second nice shirt.
3. Okay, first shirt again.
4. He has two shirts.
— Ristolable (@Ristolable) August 13, 2014
her: what’s your sign? im a cancer
me [never heard of astrology before]: im a aids
— methodical nugget (@themiltron) January 7, 2017
Me: *Flirting* You have to promise not to fall in love with me.
Him: There’s cheese in your hair. And we haven’t eaten yet.
— Lisa Marie (@xLiserx) November 27, 2016
It’s an awkward jungle out there.