A local mother was attacked by a group of senior citizens for taking her 6-month-old daughter to the grocery store without a hat.

According to the police report, the victim, Paula (who asked that her last name be withheld) ran out of diapers on Wednesday and drove to her local Stop and Shop.

“The moment I pulled my daughter out of the car, I heard the voices,” said the 28-year-old mother.

“Right away, older women started walking over from every corner of the parking lot asking, ‘Why isn’t that baby wearing a hat?’”

Witnesses at the scene said that the victim was parked only a few feet from the entrance. Paula said the last thing she remembered was a 60-year-old woman wagging a finger at her, yelling something about the baby losing heat through her head.

“It was in the 50s that day,” she said, “and she was wearing a hood!”

When police arrived on the scene, they found Paula on the ground, shaking, muttering something about Amazon Prime.

The baby was sitting safely in the shopping cart, wearing multiple hats that witnesses say were crocheted by the assailants during the attack.

*****

About the Author

Ali Hanford is the prep and comedy director for an independent radio network and has had her work published on sites like Scary Mommy and Mum.Info under the alias Allie G. She currently hosts the “I Can’t Even” podcast (www.theicantevenshow.com), a show for women on the higher end of the millennial spectrum. When she isn’t being bossed around by her toddler, you can find her seeking contact with other adults on Twitter @ali610.