MockMom is our own little satirical corner — a place for parents to laugh about the ridiculousness associated with parenthood. Enjoy!
A tendency to look for things orally which entails asking a female cohabitant where something is located instead of doing a more thorough search
Neighbors… can’t live with ’em, can’t bump ’em off without serious jail time, amirite?
What a year it’s been! I got to know my cat better, specifically her cleaning rituals, and I became besties with my grocery delivery person. What. A. Year.
If your child would like to include a message you can simply add it in the comment box at checkout and Dale-the-intern will whisper it into the ether for Father Christmas to hear.
Yes, Santa’s magical powers enable him to creep on every child in one night, but we just don’t know if Santa has been washing his hands for the full A-B-C song.
You have no obligation to cater to the unreasonable demands of the peanut gallery that you yourself created.
This moment is for us, and although I want to stuff it all inside my mouth at once, I pace myself and wait.
It appears though as if even the most involved helicopter moms have simply lost the will, and are willing to let anything fly in order to help their sweet Landon learn.
Write so large that only one word fits on your entire worksheet, making your parent clench their fist tightly.
Nothing made sense anymore. We were told to reach across our desks and embrace the opposition, but how?
My heart overflows with love for those who have not yet ascended, however, it soars even higher when I think of how wonderful we are.
Eric and I, however, have forgotten how to sleep and instead spend our evenings trying to locate the lost dreams of our youth.
We take the health and wellness of our clients very seriously. Please accept our advice with your future health care providers and trust the expertise of medical professionals.
To atone for my past transgressions, I will delete my critical tweets, and formally apologize to all fans of Black Panther, which now includes yours truly.
Joy and merriment drip down into my teeth as I scroll past your pathetic #happyfallyall pics.
I am not going to sit down and list my reasons for choosing the names I did. Gregory and I stand behind our choices.
Unfortunately, the bar has been raised by other parents-to-be and it is up to you to toss it up even higher into the air.
I know that with your upcoming trial dates and indecent exposure charges, you will likely be kept fairly busy.
As you hone in on the details of what is escaping their wordhole, you determine, “this is either a time share presentation or a college campus tour.”
Don’t worry about being dubbed “that one gloriously unhinged parent” or being regarded as “difficult.”
Life is fragile, and the parts that sparkle are all around, even when you can’t see them through your rosé covered glasses.
Previous social traditions are wiped out in order to make room for mandatory new ones.
So I decided to put one of the biggest medical cautions to the test: “smoking will kill you.”
How to put your child in a time-out without feeling so meta and other tips for parenting in the time of Corona
Last Wednesday, Sara Olsen, local nurse and mother of two teenagers, sent a simple text message that had her family convinced she was mad at them for a solid week.
The one about why fourth grade homework needs to be so complicated, and what result did everyone get for that one Common Core math problem?
If you haven’t been living under a rock, you’re familiar with these two rising stars in the conservative ranks.
By An Anonymous Mock Mom In response to educational changes occurring in the wake of the global pandemic, the world has issued honorary Doctorates in education to each parent with a child who is participating in the K12 system. Although many deem it an irresponsible decision, parents are generally thrilled with the newfound power their […]
Is the coffee you drink from a locally sourced, non GMO, of original origin, with a splash of organic oat milk served in a mug made from repurposed clay left over from your children’s art project.
I’m not sure you understand how difficult it is to live in a house full of other people day in and day out doing the same thing over and over and over.
These local pre-teens are congregating in a circle, on their bikes, and their masks don’t cover their noses.
I apologize to my colleague, and all women in general, for thinking that giving this show a proper review was a man’s job. It simply cannot be done.
I know what you’re thinking, “Owen, you’re 7 years old, what could you possibly know about buying a car?” As it turns out, quite a bit!
So continue with your practice and be patient. It will come. Once you feel you’re ready, it’s time to give it a go.
Again, I’m very deeply sorry that I’ve offended you. Next time I’ll just leave the baby at home alone with a pizza.
Inspired by our Commander in Chief, Suburban Lifestyle Barbie is an archetype doll made for clean, educated, respectful women- just like you!
I had just finished manicuring the shrubs when a well-built man in his mid-thirties, wearing dri-fit Nike shorts and slip-on Vans, approached me.
Over the weekend, a surprising force pledged support for Donald Trump in the 2020 election.
I guess the problem started when I planted the potted plant in honor of our eldest daughter, Karla’s, achievements.
By MockMom With this year being a complete dumpster fire, I almost forgot what it was like to feel my loins on fire but then I binge-watched Zac Efron’s new Netflix show ‘Down to Earth’ and WOW, I HAVEN’T FELT THIS FERTILE SINCE JASON MOMOA’S LAST MOVIE. In his new show, Efron travels the world […]
The idea was simple: raise funds to transform our garage into a self-contained, locking, soundproof room.
If you don’t have children of your own, your opinions will mean a lot more because they are coming from an unbiased source!
For example, Spiratze said that married female participants saw a 69% decrease in their partner’s annoying requests for late night blow jobs.
By MockMom I’ve never really been able to pull off the romper look without looking like an overgrown toddler. Then I saw this particular romper in the store and had to have it. It was light and comfortable and perfect for the summer heat. And most importantly, it fit me without any visible camel toe. […]
So this Saturday, put on your Sperrys and get ready to rage at the 1st Annual Chad Lives Matter bash.
As sure as the sun will set and the moon will rise, this recipe is guaranteed to impress everyone who tastes it.
An advice column by Elizabeth James and Nick Parker, the Mom and Dad in The Parent Trap (the 1998 remake, starring Lindsay Lohan).
Has your child’s normal camp been cancelled? Then your camper will love these once-in-a-lifetime pandemic-themed camps!
Act like it’s never happened before, even though it’s a regular occurrence in that disaster area known as the family room.
This is not breaking science news, but in conjunction with other sources, it provides a titillating possibility.