By Crystal Lowery of Creepy Ginger Kid Dear Online Mommy Group, I’m looking for recommendations for my only child’s one-year birthday “smash cake.” We’re going to need two versions: 1) a purple ambre cupcake for a professional-grade smash photo shoot, and 2) a 50-ft parallelogram-shaped sheet cake for the birthday party […]
Author: Mock Mom
Facebook User Sees Joke She Disagrees With, Miraculously Keeps Scrolling
By Crystal Lowery of Creepy Ginger Kid & Joanna McClanahan of Ramblin’ Mama Local resident Pearl Klutcher is being hailed as a hero after declining to comment on a joke she considered to be distasteful. “Ugh, it was awful,” Klutcher recounted. “I was just sitting and scrolling, minding my own business, when […]
Alternative Names for the ‘World’s Greatest Healthcare Plan of 2017’
By MockMom Contributors Republicans have a name for their replacement healthcare legislation and, this is completely true, it’s called the ‘World’s Greatest Healthcare Plan of 2017’. Forget the fact that we’re barely three months into 2017, to claim it’s the “World’s Greatest” seems like something they plagiarized from a 3 […]
City Worker from ‘Don’t Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus’ Under Investigation for Negligence
By Cara Marino of Phonked Digital David Garmillion, star of the famed Mo Willems book ‘Don’t Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus,’ is under investigation by the MTA for suspicion of negligence, abandoning his post, and just truly bad judgment. Witnesses claim that Garmillion left his bus unattended without explanation one morning, […]
Mother Dares to Feed Her Child Store-Bought Hummus
Francis White was outed by a gang of fellow moms at a local playgroup for not making her own hummus on Tuesday, it has emerged. Witnesses reported Mrs. White breaking down in tears as she admitted that, not only was the hummus she was feeding her son (Joseph, 11 […]
Studies Show Addiction to Instagram Filters Is on the Rise
By Heather Burnett of Word to Your Mother It’s an epidemic. So many suburban housewives struggle and they believe they are alone. As she makes the beds, shops for groceries, chauffeurs the kids, volunteers, cooks dinner and lays beside her husband at night, she’s even afraid to ask herself the […]
How My Sizzler Training Certificate Prepared Me for Public Office
By Jennifer Rosen Heinz of Thinking Mom After it became public earlier this week that my degree from “Forbco Management School” was actually a management course from a California Sizzler franchise, my office has fielded lots of questions about why I chose to list it on my resume. Instead of speaking in […]
Weight of Purchased Fundraising Merchandise Causes Attic to Collapse
By Heidi Hamm Early this morning, police responded to a suspected bombing in the 300 block of Evergreen Glades. Upon arriving at the home in question, they discovered that the entire third floor had collapsed. Fortunately, no one was home at the time. “Our street is normally so quiet, you know? […]