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City Worker from ‘Don’t Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus’ Under Investigation for Negligence

March 8, 2017 By Mock Mom

By Cara Marino of Phonked Digital

David Garmillion, star of the famed Mo Willems book ‘Don’t Let The Pigeon Drive The Bus,’ is under investigation by the MTA for suspicion of negligence, abandoning his post, and just truly bad judgment.

Witnesses claim that Garmillion left his bus unattended without explanation one morning, burdening readers of the Willems book to guard the bus and to forbid a random, unassuming pigeon from driving it.

“I was dumbfounded,” said one passenger, waiting to board, who spoke to us on the basis of anonymity. “He kept saying that ‘they’ better not let the pigeon drive the bus. I don’t even know where to begin with that.”

Garmillion, 42, has had a rocky history with the MTA. Barely passing the driving test, it was rumored that nepotism allowed him to slip through, despite a troubling obsession that pigeons wanted to drive his vehicles.

“We always thought he was just kidding,” Carlita Santana, coworker, said of Garmillion. “Lots of pigeons hang out on the roof of the depot and I can assure you that none of them wants to drive our buses. I kind of wish they would.”

More on this story as it develops.

*****

About the Author

Cara Marino is a freelance writer, video producer, wife, and mom of both humans and wheaten terriers. You can find her on Twitter, Facebook, and her blog, Phonked Digital.

  • About the Author
Mock Mom

About Mock Mom

MockMom is a satire-based corner of the internet where parents can come to cry-laugh about the trials of life with kids. Panty-wadding prohibited. Interested in contributing? Visit our submissions page for details. You can also help support our creative juices by donating to our tip jar.

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