“Let’s wait and see where the facts take us. We don’t even know what role the baby played in making all this come about.”
Tag: satire
A Complete List of Items My Husband Asked Me to Help Him Find and Their Entirely Unsurprising Locations
This is not Endgame. You cannot claim, “I put it right here!” and expect to be able to go back in time to reclaim it.
How I Spend My Day, As Imagined By My Seven-Year-Old Son
This video game for adults is so much fun. I’m sure my kids would like it too, but I won’t let them play it because I like being mean.
Trump on a Stump Will Bully Your Kids Into Good Behavior This Holiday Season
According to a press release, Trump on a Stump™ will “definitely, almost 100% make all the bad, bad brats be very, very goodly good this holiday season.”
16 “Mom Life” Realities As Told Through Brad Pitt Movie Titles
Who knew Brad Pitt’s body of work so aligned with my life? Now if only he could make movies called “Why Is This Wet?” and “My Best Friend, Chocolate.”
How to Lose Weight with Zero Deprivation: The EZ Bake Oven Diet
The last time I hoovered an entire pan of brownies guilt-free, I was five and still believed my mother that Husky Girls’ Clothing was for kids who like dogs.
Your Ultimate Guide to a Healthy and Trendy Thanksgiving Meal
What good is eating food if you can’t do so in a way that makes you feel far superior to all of your lowly, carb-indulgent Facebook friends?
Florida Hospital Sets Guinness World Record for Terrible Question Asking
As Stephanie was delivering her placenta, a nurse looked at her with a wide smile and asked, “So, when are you guys thinking about baby #2?”