“We’re gonna keep on going until that sacrilegious bullshit is banned. And unlike that fruitcake primate, we’re not monkeying around.”
Tag: satire
Tampax Launches Mom-Inspired Line of Motivational Tampons
Ladies, it looks like we finally have something to look forward to each month other than those stretched out yoga pants and heating pads.
Coronavirus Discovered to Be Super Evolved Strain of Man Flu
We’re guessing that some man bitched so much to his wife about being sick that the virus couldn’t take its host’s incessant whining anymore.
Trump’s Space Force Reportedly After Baby Yoda
“That little green freak obviously works for the radical left. SORE LOSERS.”
Anxious Mother Told To Calm Down, Anxiety Magically Cured
She jumped up off the bed, gave all the medical staff a high five for fixing her problems, and left the hospital while proudly chanting her college alma mater.
Do You REALLY Love Your Children?
How many organs have they eaten today? Were they meat or pianos? Are your pianos vegan?
Career Aptitude Test Confirms Mother’s Fate as Professional Butt Wiper
“I can actually put my English degree to good use. Like, by wiping my kid’s butt with it.”
Valentine’s Day Is a Politically Incorrect Load of Crap
I just want to spend my February 14th in comforting, self-loathing isolation without having to worry about some insensitive jackass sending me flowers.