By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars
A Galaxy Far, Far Away— As if everyone’s favorite adorable alien didn’t already have enough power-hungry sycophants after it, it sounds like Donald Trump’s newly-established Space Force will soon join the galactic hunt for Baby Yoda.
An anonymous recruit recently hacked the Space Force Twitter account and leaked the information in typical, unobtrusive and subtle Trump fashion:
When we reached out to Space Force Sith Lord Chief Commander John Raymond for comment, he gave us the following statement:
I can neither confirm nor deny that the United States Space Force’s first mission involves The Child, colloquially referred to as ‘Baby Yoda.’ However, I would like to take this opportunity to remind the American people that this ‘Baby Yoda’ represents many of the threats to national security that President Trump is fighting against: It is cute, innocent, gender non-conforming, apparently harmless, keeps mostly to itself, doesn’t speak English, and—perhaps most importantly—seems to be garnering more online attention from the general public than President Trump.
It is true that Baby Yoda memes have been taking over the internet ever since The Mandalorian aired on streaming service Disney+ last November. When we conducted an anonymous online survey to gauge the general public’s reaction to the Space Force tweet, it was apparent that many people believe Trump’s alleged plan to take out Baby Yoda once and for all stems from his deep-rooted need to have “all the attention, all the time.”
“Oh, we can’t have anything detracting from THE TRUMP SHOW,” stated one survey respondent.
“God forbid we see something joy-invoking on the internet for once,” said another.
“That motherf*cking egomaniac can’t stand the fact that Baby Yoda has more followers than him.”
Others expressed similar sentiments:
“Does Trump really have to be the only unnaturally-skin-colored face we see on the internet?”
Some survey-takers took the opportunity to taunt Trump and his Space Force by creating and sharing even more adorable Baby Yoda memes, such as the following:
White House correspondents told us that the president was unavailable for an official comment on the matter, so naturally Trump tweeted about it later, claiming, “That little green freak obviously works for the radical left. SORE LOSERS.”
About the Author
Samantha Wassel is a sarcastic and slightly unhinged SAHM to three energetic boys and three lazy AF cats. She enjoys running, writing, kettlebelling, reading, nerding out, and eating exorbitant amounts of goat cheese and Peanut Butter Halo Top ice cream (but not together, because barf). You can find more of her work at Between the Monkey Bars.