Men are sexually attracted to their burnt-out, exasperated, at-the-end-of-their-proverbial-rope female partners now more than ever.
Because our forever motto once we have kids is “WE LAUGH SO WE DON’T CRY!”
A tendency to look for things orally which entails asking a female cohabitant where something is located instead of doing a more thorough search
It was an expensive card and I had to reorder another batch because I underestimated how many people my husband actually wanted to send the card to.
Yes, Santa’s magical powers enable him to creep on every child in one night, but we just don’t know if Santa has been washing his hands for the full A-B-C song.
You have no obligation to cater to the unreasonable demands of the peanut gallery that you yourself created.
While Thanksgiving used to be a time to confront relatives you may not like, this year you’re probably getting the chance to lay low a little.
Write so large that only one word fits on your entire worksheet, making your parent clench their fist tightly.