“That little green freak obviously works for the radical left. SORE LOSERS.”
She jumped up off the bed, gave all the medical staff a high five for fixing her problems, and left the hospital while proudly chanting her college alma mater.
Put a pinch of turmeric in your tea! Bake it into a cake! Snort it like cocaine! There’s no wrong way to consume turmeric.
How many organs have they eaten today? Were they meat or pianos? Are your pianos vegan?
“I can actually put my English degree to good use. Like, by wiping my kid’s butt with it.”
“Just burn those motherfuckers,” she stated in an article recently published in Kids Psych Weekly. “Preferably while your kids are watching.”
I just want to spend my February 14th in comforting, self-loathing isolation without having to worry about some insensitive jackass sending me flowers.
Nothing dismantles the patriarchy more effectively than a woman who has left the workforce. Did you know breastfeeding burns calories? Daddy will love that!