By Becca Carnahan of With Love, Becca Finally exhausted with humans’ bullshit excuses, the Moon has released an official statement denying any and all responsibility for issues that happen on earth when the moon is “full.”: I, the Moon, am done being your punching bag. Kids are being heathens? “Must be a full moon.” Dogs won’t stop […]
MockMom
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez Caught Up in yet Another Scandal
By Heather Jones New Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is no stranger to scandal. Recently, a video surfaced showing Ocasio-Cortez in college, dancing, like a college student. She looked happy, which is, of course, completely inappropriate for a member of Congress. “This is a disgrace to the office,” said one Republican. “Smiling is absolutely prohibited, and dancing […]
So You Want to Be a Dictator
By Lauren Salkin of Think Spin There are many things to consider on your way toward achieving political domination, like who should be your scapegoat. Every dictator needs someone to blame for things like crime, pestilence, and misspelled tweets. Choosing your scapegoat In choosing your scapegoat, make sure they are from a minority group without a […]
Cat Confirms He’s Silently Judging Everyone
By MockMom (In spite of the logistical and physical limitations of reality, we were able to obtain this excerpt written by a local cat, who wishes to be simply identified as “Max.”) Where to begin? There’s so much about human behavior that confuses me. The way you pretend to be nice to people you don’t […]
Intensive School Teaches 3-Year-Olds How to Live in Society
By Jen Mearns of The Undomestic Goddess Far in the woods, in deepest Appalachia, stands a school. Its surroundings are modest, but the school is top-of-the-line. It is a large, three-story brick building that houses a full staff of teachers, counselors, and students. It is not, however, your typical boarding school. The reason it’s not your typical boarding […]
I’m an Instamom Who Enjoys Every Single Moment
By Vegansmoothiemama Whatup, mamas! Just your fave Instamom here, spending some glorious time at the playground with my amazing son AJ! I like to grab a few selfies at the front gate, just a little something to show that I’m a mom who’s all about activities. AJ doesn’t appreciate the value of my brand yet and pushes […]
Grover Responds To Controversy: “Yes, I Swear Sometimes. So What?”
By MockMom Grover here! Lately, there seems to have been a teensy bit of uproar around when I slipped and said Rosita’s idea was “fucking excellent.” Yes, I said it, but it was an accident. I got caught up in the moment and had been hanging out with Oscar earlier. But can I ask, what […]
Perfect Human Being Rejected from Top Ivy League School
By Marlene Kern Fischer of Thoughts From Aisle Four A family and community are shocked and stunned by the fact that their class valedictorian was rejected by his first-choice school: Harvard University. The young man, who wished to only be identified as “Andrew” so as not to further embarrass his loved ones, seemed like a shoo-in for […]