They say you can accomplish anything with the right motivation. I have no idea who “they” are, but whatever, it doesn’t matter. What matters is there’s wine. And cheese. Together. In the south of France. And if that’s not enough to make you want to run a marathon, I don’t know what is. The Marathon […]
SPM19
Dad Backs Car Over Toddler at Waffle House
Police say alcohol and drugs were not a factor in the tragic death of a toddler who was ‘accidentally’ run over by his father in a Brandon, FL Waffle House parking lot last Tuesday. According to Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office, both of the boy’s parents were under the impression that the ‘other’ parent had placed […]
Yes, All 22 Pairs of Leggings I Own Spark Joy
By Jennifer Craven Attention, ladies: I’m all about this Marie Kondo purging and organizing method. But there’s one thing that she won’t touch in our wardrobes—the legging stash. Yes, it is completely necessary and customary for women to hoard these beautifully stretchy wonders. Much to the confusion of perplexed men everywhere, each and every pair […]
Punxsutawney Phil Arrested on Multiple Charges of Fraud and Deception
By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars Punxsutawney Phil, Groundhog Day’s beloved poster woodchuck, is currently being held without bail at the Burr Row Correctional Complex in Punxsutawney, PA, on charges of being a “motherfucking fraud.” The arrest happened late Tuesday night after the Punxsutawney Police Department received multiple complaints against the now-infamous rodent. “We received […]
‘Do You Have Any Irish In You?’ Line Actually Works
By MockMom For the third straight year, Bret McEntire has gone to O’Hara’s Pub to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, drink green beer, and use his same pick-up line: “Do you have any Irish in you? Do you want some?” McEntire tried this line on an endless string of women (and even a few men toward […]
‘Go-Pros’ For Dicks Are A Thing That Exist Now. Because Reasons
The Cock Cam is the new “Go-Pro” for dicks that can capture and share your climax online.
16 Funny AF Tweets About Partying Like a Grownup
I remember when I was a just a wee spring chicken, ready to paint my face and go terrorize the town with my drunken, poorly-thought-out tomfoolery. Oh, how the pages have turned! Many of us wasted our youth just counting the days until we’d be grown, free of rules and limits! Nothing to hold us […]
Some of the Most Hilarious Reactions to the Instagram/Facebook Outage of 2019
Last week marked the day the Earth REALLY stood still, as there was a global partial outage for approximately 14 hours (and counting, for some) of some Facebook-owned apps, including Instagram, Messenger, WhatsApp and Facebook itself. Users of the popular social media platforms Instagram and Facebook were getting error messages, inability to post new content, […]