By Elizabeth Argyropoulos of Bourgeois Alien 1. Denial The first reaction to no one liking your Facebook status is denial. You mutter through clenched teeth and sweaty palms, “It’s only been 2 minutes…2 hours…um…2 days…maybe no one saw it. Surely they’ll like my 500-word essay on America’s crumbling infrastructure, or my duck […]
By Kristina Johnson of thatmommylady.com Two days after walking several bags of trash 30 feet from his house to the curb, Pittsburgh man Kent McInerney is still congratulating himself on a job well done. “I don’t want to brag or anything, but I’m no slacker on the homefront,” McInerney said. “Even […]
Vancouver’s Caitlyn Daniels is being vilified online this week after failing to post a single social media condolence in the wake of the latest celebrity death. “I just can’t believe her callousness,” said Facebook friend Rachel Evans, who hasn’t actually spoken to Daniels since 10th grade. “That actor gave […]
By Shya Gibbons of Vintage Dreams With A Modern Twist I think it is SO cute when babies and children babble to each other. They laugh and giggle and pass the time whispering in a language we have not cracked. Until recently, that is. A super-smart team of scientists, parents, and language […]
Newark, NJ — You know that crying child sitting behind you on the airplane? She and her parents actually have nowhere of importance to be. She is there for the sole purpose of making your flight unbearable. This reporter went undercover to crack open a conspiracy that people with […]
By Liv of Live By Surprise Céstlavie, France has commenced enforcement of a new bylaw which requires a wholesale ban on red clown noses or big shoes worn in public spaces. The stunning move comes after several recent bank robberies in the town by men in red noses and wigs. […]
By Kristina Johnson of thatmommylady.com A local mom is blaming lingering pregnancy hormones for her regular mood swings. Carol Brown’s husband, Peter, says since their son was born, he’s lost count of how often his wife has snapped at him for any number of supposed offenses. “The most common one is that I’m […]
By Lisa Carmody Doiron of Momologues After 43 years of holding it in, Gwyneth Paltrow finally pooped. “I don’t like to call it ‘pooping,’” stated Paltrow. “I prefer something gentler, like ‘conscious unstooling.’” [adsanity id=”35664″ align=”aligncenter”/] “I used to think conscious unstooling was just for regular people and assholes…you know, those […]