By Lisa Carmody Doiron of Momologues A long-haired guinea pig living in a pet store in Queens, NY, is tired of being mistaken for business man, TV personality, and President Donald Trump. “I’ve been mistaken for lots of famous people on account of my illustrious golden locks,” stated the unnamed guinea […]
By Emily Spence of Sweet n’ Sour Mom If you walk into a bookstore (or browse through Amazon Kindle since bookstores are becoming a dying species), you might notice a plethora of self-help books regarding sex after kids. Books written by psychologists to help women who feel that childbirth killed the […]
By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars You’re a mom. You’ve been up since 6 a.m. The baby is crying, the toddler is tantrumming, and you just stepped in a pile of cat puke. You peel the furry, vomit-covered sock off your foot and head off in search of a […]
The children of housewife and stay-at-home mom Lucy Compton of Springfield, Illinois were removed from her custody today after neighbors complained that the smell of ice cream bonbons and the sound of daytime soap operas were disruptive to their stroller jogging groups. A neighbor of Ms. Compton spoke with […]
By Abby Byrd of Little Miss Perfect Look, you and I both know you’re not gonna take a nap, so let’s cut the shit, OK? That “I’m sleepy; I want to cuddle with you, Mama” is bullshit. You know it, I know it. If you can just admit now that […]
By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars A mother of four in Piston, MS was recently admitted to the psychiatric ward of a local hospital after suffering an existential crisis when she found herself peeing alone in the first floor bathroom of her two-story suburban home. Gina Trichel was perusing Facebook […]
By Gina Ballentine of Stage Too In an effort to offset the rising cost of healthcare, Wal-Mart has announced plans to open psychiatric offices in the majority of their stores by June of 2016. This will add to the already wide range of services available at the retail giant. The […]
By Lisa Carmody Doiron of Momologues This just in: The FDA approved a vaccine yesterday in an effort to wipe out a horrendous condition known as Parentiitus Selfrightulosis (or PS for short). “PS is an insidious disease taking over the parenting community,” stated Public Health Nurse, Wanda Purgit. “Often times, parents […]