The 90s were a magical time filled with glitter, neon, spandex, and blow-up furniture. Growing up in the 90s meant that we were the last to know a time before the internet, iTunes and YouTube, text messaging, and social media.
We D.A.R.E.d to spice up our lives with girl power, Lip Smackers, and platform shoes, and also to dabble in witchcraft after watching The Craft, but we did so in fuzzy sweaters and plaid skirts while reeking of CK One and sucking on our pacifier necklaces (don’t ask).
Now, we’re knee deep in pacifier clips for actual pacifiers, our own Rugrats, and crippling student loan debt.
Do the electric slide (boogie woogie, woogie) into a heavy dose of nostalgia with this notoriously B.I.G. list of 90s memes from funny parents on the non-dial-up internet.
1. The wonder years AFTER the Wonder Years
Those really were the days.
2. *Applies a serum*
I live la vida loca by slingshotting my bra across the room and muttering curse words into my wine while my kids use my body as a jungle gym.
3. That’s the tea!
Kids these days will never know the joy and panic of 3-way-calling, or of realizing your parents are listening in on your conversations using the other landline phone.
The sound of dial-up internet, like Celine Dion, will go on and onnnnnn.
5. Oodles and oodles of fun!
Screw your lip kit, Kylie, Caboodle is where it’s at.
6. Our expectations have lowered
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN A MANSION WITH JTT AND OUR 5 KIDS!
7. WHAT ARE WE, PILGRIMS!?
When we first heard about the internet, our minds were fucken blown. A way to learn about anything you want without one hundred bookshelf encyclopedias? Communicating with people my age from other countries without writing a letter? Now we have the world at our fingertips, but if I can’t see the picture someone posted in the DM, I will punt my smartphone across the room.
8. I feel the burn!
Going to MTV’s Spring Break was the ultimate fantasy when I was 12. Now all I want to do is fart into my couch in peace.
9. They would never make it
The first time they dabbed at someone or did a Fortnite dance and asked where their iPads were, Robert Stack would have their asses on Unsolved Mysteries as proof that aliens really do exist.
10. What is that heavenly scent?
Those smells bring back memories of the most awkward boners while slow dancing to K-Ci and JoJo’s “All My Life” as they badly masked the scent of body odor and middle school gym.
11. Son, I have something I need to tell you
You weren’t the only creature to live off screens that I was responsible for.
12. I need some love like I never needed love before…
…Wanna make love to ya, baby. But after you help me out with bedtime stuff because I’m about to lose my shit.
13. I played dumb games before it was cool
It was a right of passage and we were drunk with power!
15. Chunks and tips
No, I’m not talking about penises. I’m talking about types of highlights that used to be popular. Pervert.
16. Fresh to death!
I’d slurp those noodles, if ya know what I’m sayin.’
17. All of the glitter
The 90s had a color: Roll-on glitter. Shut up, it’s a color. It is!
Before you heathens decided to start vajazzle-ing your muffs with it.
19. Smells like teen spirit
This is how the modern-day vegan was born.
20. I’m so good at this!
Oh, wait, that was a total fluke and now I’m one hadouken (Street Fighter reference, settle down, nerds) away from selling my children.
21. Lit AF
You don’t know nothin’ ’bout this, fam!
22. A-come on…
I seen a rainbow yesterday, but too many storms have come and gone, leaving a trace of not one God-given ray.
23. A remarkable transformation!
It’s like the part in the movie Home where Oh gets the disguise of a lifetime: a drawn-on freckle.
You better recognize.
25. I need a new therapist
It’s like no one understands me.
26. Damn, you looks good, won’t you back dat ass up
Sorry for being…Juvenile… *high fives all the dads*
27. Sick burn
Speaking of burn, I think I’m due for a chemical peel to get rid of some of these fine lines.
28. What’s my age again?
If your technological troubleshooting advice is to blow on it and wiggle it from side-to-side, you’re either a prostitute or a 90s kid.
29. Cool, cool…
*Registers for AARP card*
30. WERE YOU RAISED IN A BARN!?
Maybe Mrs. Doubtfire wasn’t so fire.
31. A millennial gang war
Choose a side or DIE! Hard pills to swallow: These guys first came into your life 26 years ago so, to be honest, we’re probably going to die soon enough anyway.
I feel like we just went on a journey together. I’ve never felt closer to you than in this moment as I add face cream and wine to cope with the deterioration of my youth into my online grocery cart before shaving my head 2007 Britney Spears style.
If you enjoyed having your literal or metaphorical nuts glitter-dipped into some 90s nostalgia, and you’re not feelin’ so innocent, you should hit that share button so your friends can go on a trip down memory lane.
What do you miss most from the 90s? Let us know in the comments, and don’t forget to check out more of our awesome meme roundups to keep you laughing through the shit storm of parenting.