Every so often, Facebook throws women a fashion bone that cannot be ignored, and “Flap Couture” seems to be growing in popularity.
Take, for example, the Labia Shawl that showed up on Fendi’s website recently. Okay, so maybe they called it something else, but still… you see it, RIGHT??!
Then there was the viral bikini ad of a gorgeous model—tanned and tone with sun-drenched, dirty blonde hair—wearing some sort of triangular bandage over her “Rolls Royce Vagina.” Thank you, Knee Deep in Life, for keeping that one real.
But this week, Holy Flaps introduced something new: Boohoo’s long-sleeve bodysuit with flapless storage.
“Where do my flaps go pls @boohoo,” they posted on Facebook.
Though no one really knows the answer to the question, initially posed by @castmorespells on Twitter, the comments pouring in on Facebook are pure gold.
“I’m training my clitoris to walk on a tightrope,” wrote one woman.
“Wow!” gasped another, “Forget the bikini wax, I’d need my cervix waxed to wear that! 😱 😂 🤣.”
Another described the image as “a sneeze away from a severe thunderclap.”
And the laughs go on and on. So far, there have been over 81K wisecracks since their initial post on February 7, and the comments are still going strong.
One guy even came up with his own limerick to share.
“There once was a girl called Louise,” he wrote, “whose flaps hung down to her knees, the crabs got together and knitted a sweater so in the winter her flaps wouldn’t freeze.”
Soon after, a few others took a stab at writing parodies, beginning with “If your happy and you know it clap your flaps 🤣” and ending with a tribute to Eminem: “2 trailer park flaps go round the outside round the outside.”
Next came self-awareness.
[adsanity id=”35665″ align=”aligncenter”/]“I would have to roll each of mine like sleeping bags to wear this,” said one woman, adding that they’d be “flapping in the wind” after just one sneeze. “You know, like your dogs lips when they have the head out of a car window.”
Another joked that you’d “have to send a search party out” for hers, prompting others to question the fate of their own vertical smiles.
Here are some of our favorites:
“Gonna look like a platypus with a twig in its mouth.”
“I couldn’t wear this. It hasn’t got any pockets.”
“Guys rock out with their cock out. Why can’t we jam out with our clam out??”
[adsanity id=”35666″ align=”aligncenter”/]“One kegal away from being a Slingshot.”
Though it would, literally, take days to weed through all the comments on the Holy Flaps Facebook page (hoping to find the answer to @castmorespell’s question), one brave soul was able to articulate how most women feel when they garnish their velvet curtains in twine.
It’s not that we don’t CARE where your flaps are supposed to go; it’s just that our vaginas don’t need that kind of pressure.