If your child would like to include a message you can simply add it in the comment box at checkout and Dale-the-intern will whisper it into the ether for Father Christmas to hear.

Pandemic-Friendly Ways to Get That Sweet, Sweet Santa Photo Fix

By Kristin Hirsch

Just like you couldn’t bear the thought of your bright eyed babies missing out on a sit-down with Santa Claus, we here at Santa Foto Fantasies couldn’t bear the thought of missing out on creating holiday joy (or that sweet photo package revenue) just because of a global scourge. Therefore, we’re so excited to announce we’ve curated five safe, reasonably priced, pandemic-friendly photo packages for your darlings to dish to Big Red this holiday season!

The Photoshop Photo Op
Simply send us a picture of your child and we’ll photoshop their fat little cherub face onto a generic child-esque body sitting on the lap of a stock photo of Santa. If your child would like to include a message you can simply add it in the comment box at checkout and Dale-the-intern will whisper it into the ether for Father Christmas to hear.

$65 – includes one 4×6 print.

The Virtual Visit
In this video chat option kids will have exactly twenty seconds to say their peace (on earth!) to Santa, and smile pretty for the camera. We’ll then send you a link to a form which you can download, print and send back to us to get the photo (in 5-8 business weeks)!

$89 – includes one 3×5 print – extra talk time can be purchased at $6/second.

The Plexiglass Prison Pic
This fabulous almost-in-person offering allows your child to see Santa with their own glistening eyes! Your little one will get three minutes* in our made-by-Dale 4×4 plexiglass box. Santa will be in his own plexiglass box 10 feet away and will attempt to read your child’s lips as they scream their wants or their fears. One beautiful 5×7 picture will be taken with an iPhone 5, printed and placed in a custom plain white paper frame.

$120 – includes one 5×7 print and we can’t overstate how lovely and crisp the white paper frame is.

*Box cannot be opened before the three minutes is up for any reason. Please coach your child not to cry because box oxygen (Boxygen™) concentration cannot be guaranteed.

The Inflatable HoHo Fun
For those kids who just HAVE to crawl onto St. Nick’s lap to make the season bright! Simply come and pick up an inflatable Santa from our kiosk setup behind Tricky Rick’s Saloon. You’ll be given a “joy kit” containing one Inflate-a-Santa and one red tablecloth. Don’t worry if your Inflate-a-Santa has bright red lips, a gaping hole mouth or large air filled breasts – Kris Kringle’s just trying something different this year! Just grab Santa, plop her…er, him…down on the couch in any way that kind of makes a lap, drape the red tablecloth to cover as much vinyl skin as possible and let your little ones climb aboard! Snap away with your own camera, send them to us, and we’ll have TWO wallet sized photos printed and waiting when you return your Inflate-a-Santa kit!*

$195 + mandatory $20 cleaning fee that trust us you want – includes TWO wallet sized prints.

*By the time the sun goes down and the salt mill workers get lonely.

The Exclusive Extended Santa Stay
We know some parents aren’t willing to compromise and won’t let anything stop them from giving their babies a real life Santa experience. With The Exclusive Extended Stay Santa package we send Santa Claus (aka Dale-the-intern) right to your home! After a two week quarantine in a private area of the house and a negative Covid test, Dale will don the suit, hat and beard for a safe and fun way for your kiddos to gab with Father Christmas. This visit has no time limit and can last as long as you’re willing to let Dale stay! You might need to bring in law enforcement to get him to leave, the silly goose, but the flashing red lights of the cruiser parked in your driveway will be like a private Christmas light show!

$350 + Covid testing + Dale’s room and board and p.s. he only drinks Lactaid – includes as many pictures as you’re willing to print yourself!


About the Author

Kristin Hirsch is a comedian, writer and funnymaker from Grand Rapids, MI. She knows the heart wants what it wants and hers usually wants guac. Follow her on Facebook at www.facebook.com/kristinhirsch