16 Parent Phrases Decoded

[nextpage title=”Page 1″ ] As parents, we have a vernacular all our own — things we tell our children, which we either A.) Say because we don’t know what else to do, B.) Don’t really mean but think sounds good anyway, or C.) Really, really swear to God we’re gonna […]

Stop With The Husband Bashing Already

I remember my brother telling my husband and me about a guy he works with teasing him before he married my sister-in-law.  The guy asked him if he knew about the three rings: “First comes the engagement ring.  Then comes the wedding ring.  And then comes the suffering!” Hardy har har. […]

School Supply List: A Teacher’s Fantasy

I’ve seen a lot of posts on Facebook about school supply purchases my friends have or are about to make for their children entering elementary school, and I’ve gotta say, these lists are insane, you guys: 10 packages of dry erase markers, 17 boxes of crayons, top-of-the-line running shoes, four […]

32 Life Rules I’ve Learned in 32 Years

1. If you have a crap ton of diapers on hand, you won’t need them.  If you don’t, your kid will shit the equivalent of an erupting volcano. 2. If something is due tomorrow, you can bet your ass your hard drive will crash/your printer will run out of ink/your […]

Things It’s OK For Parents To Do (Or Not Do)

Parenting: Everyone’s an expert.  Whether it’s your great aunt Gertie or the childless couple down the road, the latest best-selling parenting author or media-backed medical expert, everybody’s got ideas about what you should and should not do with your children.  And whether it’s the notion that breastfed babies are automatically […]

How To Put a Toddler To Bed in 5 Steps

Step 1: Carve out 2 hours of time.  You’re gonna need that shit (if not more). Step 2: Put on the night night diaper.  This one’s a bit trickier than the first step. What you’re gonna want to do is block all exits first.  Containment is key.  (If that little […]