Ahhh, romance. When you’re young, you think that love will be this beautiful, glorious experience. Then you grow up and realize it’s not quite the idealized thing you were sold in the movies.
Real, lasting love is less flowers and chocolates and more flipping coins for who gets to go grocery shopping alone. Instead of romantic dinners, it’s fighting about how the dishwasher was loaded incorrectly. Love is a wonderful thing, but for old married couples, examples of it are more mundane than magic.
As a society, we put too much pressure on love. High expectations can cause rifts where there should just be contentment. And the Hallmark Holidays don’t help. Why actually gift each other with romance year-round when you can just toss a box of chocolates on the counter once a year?
That’s not to say that some couples don’t have romance. But as your partnership progresses and is complicated by the plague of children, things end up far less rose-colored than they once were. Now everything is tinted a weird shade of “Did I ask you?” and “Why didn’t you mail the fucking thing like I said?”
However, this is fine. The romance is still there, it’s just changed forms. This is your love’s version of not fitting into those pre-pregnancy jeans. Definitely looks a little different … but still wonderful and good!
1. That special milestone when you start buying your gifts for yourself
Wife: I have to go to the store. Need anything?
Me: I need a Valentine's Day card for you. Get something nice but not too pricey.
Wife: Yep
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 6, 2020
2. File this under “25 free Valentine’s Day gift ideas”
My husband just yelled “Happy Valentine’s” from the toilet so you could say things are getting pretty romantic over here.
— Maryfairyboberry (@MaryJustice86) February 14, 2020
3. The attraction is unmistakeable
I’m not saying that the romance is gone, but my husband and I went out for dinner without our kids, and the waiter asked if we needed separate checks.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) February 19, 2018
4. The definition of romance shifts over time
Romance before kids: Long walks, listening to music, conversation
After kids: Sending each other funny memes when you're on the toilet
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) September 10, 2017
5. A love that lasts forever
Me, being romantic: When you die, I'll have you stuffed.
— S A R A B U C K L E Y (@nottheworstmom) January 1, 2018
6. It’s like a law of the Universe that only married people are privy to
Premarital spooning is romance-based; postmarital spooning is temperature-based.
— Henpecked Hal (@HenpeckedHal) December 27, 2017
7. A very romantic issue, one that’s recognized DAILY
I love you, but I'm not IN LOVE with the socks you left on the floor, two feet away from the laundry hamper.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) December 16, 2015
8. It’s the thought that counts, but a fiver would be nice
I like to immediately ruin the romance of Valentine’s Day by opening the thoughtful card my wife got me and shaking it to see if any money falls out.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) February 6, 2020
9. What’s more romantic than fighting over who gets to use the bathroom later
For the price of that Valentine's Day card, you could get her seven items from the Taco Bell value menu.
— Uncle Jeff (@PickleRudd) February 14, 2020
10. Drive him crazy
Spice up your marriage by parallel parking and making him watch
— Healthy Living for Hot Messes (@HLFHM) October 2, 2019
If you feel like the romance has died, there’s no need to worry — it’s probably just changed.
Love can be a lot of things. So what if those romantic walks on the beach have been replaced with making each other’s coffees in the morning? That’s pretty great too!