By Samantha Wassel of Between the Monkey Bars

I know these are hard times, friends. Most of us are trapped at home because of the coronavirus pandemic, and a lot of us are seeking out fun activities to entertain our children. With Easter just around the corner, I’m sure many of you are planning to color Easter eggs together as a family.

But I beg of you, please don’t. Why? Because it is morally and ethically wrong to torture innocent baby chickens just to keep you and your kids busy. It’s time to finally put an end to that filthy, sadistic “tradition” euphemistically referred to as “coloring Easter eggs.”

Let me ask you this: How would you like to be boiled alive and then fully submerged in a tub of dyes, chemicals, and vinegar? Or have your outward appearance radically altered without your consent? What about being man-handled by a bunch of filthy, clumsy children, many of whom likely spent half the day with their fingers up their noses?

Let’s get one thing straight, people. When you dip those eggs into little containers of dye, you’re not simply “coloring” anything. You are intentionally and disgracefully fondling, drowning, physically-altering, and eventually cracking open DEFENSELESS BABY CHICKENS. Not only are you premeditatively murdering them by the cartonful, you’re also torturing them in the process.

As a vegan, it’s hard for me to believe that anyone could even consider eating something that at one time was alive and breathing, but dying Easter eggs takes animal cruelty to a whole new level. These baby chickens never even had a chance. Who are you to take away their right to live a full and prosperous life?

STOP PLAYING GOD.

The cruel irony of all this is the fact that Easter is supposed to be about resurrection and new life. Keep that in mind when you consider dunking that helpless baby chicken in a brightly colored vat of non-organic substances. Keep that baby chicken’s poor mother-clucker in mind when you strip her of her God-given right to raise her own children.

Keep all of this in mind when you crack open the corpse of that innocent creature and methodically rip away shell one tiny bit at a time. I know some of you will even have the audacity to curse at the sweet little thing when it doesn’t peel easily, as if it’s somehow to blame for the fact that you can’t mutilate it quickly enough to your liking.

Please join me in putting an end to this barbaric practice. Help me advocate for those who can’t speak—or chirp—for themselves.

Spread the word that it’s time to #endbabychickentorture#eggdyingismurder #whatthecluck

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About the Author

Samantha Wassel is a sarcastic and slightly unhinged SAHM to three energetic boys and three lazy AF cats. She enjoys running, writing, kettlebelling, reading, nerding out, and eating exorbitant amounts of goat cheese and Peanut Butter Halo Top ice cream (but not together, because barf). You can find more of her work at Between the Monkey Bars