By Mandi Em of Healthy Living for Hot Messes
Well, shit, it’s Easter again and you didn’t plan well, but that’s okay. Here are some ways to make glorious, Pinterest-worthy Easter eggs using the things you come across daily.
To start with, get some eggs. Eggs are the cornerstone ingredient of Easter eggs. Flax eggs won’t work, so kindly keep your vegan substitutes to your damn self. Yoni eggs won’t work either, don’t be a weirdo. Just get regular ones.
Take your eggs and drop, dip, or roll them into the following things to create bright, whimsical Easter eggs that your family will love:
1. That puddle of Kool-Aid your kid spilled. Take your egg and roll it around in the bright sticky puddle. Don’t get mad; instead, make sure your carpet properly lives on by being an integral part of these important childhood memories.
2. That food your kid won’t eat. Of course he won’t eat his dinner — hello, it’s a day that ends in Y. That’s okay, you’re resourceful, Momma! You hate food waste and love creativity, so take an egg, plop it in, and ta-da! Instagram-worthy Easter egg right there.
3. That wine you spilled. Fuck it, a little spilled wine on a Thursday ain’t no thang. Dip an egg in that shit.
4. The paint and craft supplies your kids didn’t clean up. Why clean up when you can use eggs to soak up the mess? Put. An. Egg. In. It.
5. Your actual child. You haven’t washed her face or hands in a hot minute. She’s covered in blueberries and jam. Gently swipe the eggshell across her cheeks and hands to make a delightful marbled design. Pinterest perfect!
Try these tips and sit back with a chocolate egg or five while the “likes” blow up your notifications. Because, remember, there is no point in doing anything if there’s no photo evidence of it online. Happy Easter!
About the Author
Mandi Em is the content creator for Healthy Living for Hot Messes, a website that aims to helps your average Jane get healthy AF (without being a dick about it). Mandi can usually be found whining about her kids on Twitter, and posting her food and nonsense on Instagram, and Facebook.