A story from a woman who bought herself a whole load of trouble a few years ago in 2015 is making the rounds on Facebook again. According to the tale posted by Elizabeth Faidley, her daughter wanted a baby mermaid more than anything else a few years ago for Christmas. In an attempt to find such a specific thing, Faidley took to Etsy, where she found a baby mermaid toy that ended up being more than she bargained for.
According to Faidley, when she received the toy (whose name was Pearl, BTW) it was … aesthetically questionable. It was a mermaid baby, yes, but it had terrible green hair and patches of scales on its face. Faidley’s little daughter Ellie was not impressed despite getting exactly what she wanted for Christmas.
Faidley decided to try and dye the doll’s hair, hoping that bleaching the green out might somehow help it seem less creepy and horrible; however, that didn’t work out either. Her hilarious Facebook post chronicles her daughter’s aversion to this doll every step of the way through the whole “makeover” process.
At her wits’ end, Faidley decided to send the doll to a “doll hospital” for more of an “extreme makeover” level treatment. It would cost her a fortune, but she was willing to pony up for a doll that wouldn’t curse the next 5 generations of the bloodline of any poor bitch who looked at it.
Fast forward to the call from the cops. According to Faidley, the Syracuse police gave her a call because they were alerted by the “doll hospital” that the ugly demon merbaby was stuffed full of COCAINE — proving once again, it’s what’s on the inside that counts.
After being investigated, it turns out that the Etsy store was a front for drug smuggling. In her quest for the perfect toy for her daughter, Faidley accidentally became visually traumatized and a part of an international drug investigation. Oops.
On the scale of Christmas stories, this one has to be up near the top. It has all the key points for a good holiday story, after all: mythical creatures, an ugly duckling story arc, and a mountain of “snow.”