There are few joys in life that hit you as good a decent sale. In this economy, saving a couple of bucks feels like hitting the jackpot. Your eyes get full of stars, your heart swells up, and the dopamine centers in your brain start firing off the good feels like you just got punched in the gut by a nostalgic telephone commercial. “Hello, Mom? It’s me. I just wanted to let you know that coffee is on BOGO.”
The beauty of the sale is the logical disruption it induces. Your very cognitive processing gets hijacked, and all of the sudden you NEED those 15 cans of damaged spaghetti sauce. Sure, you might be a budget-savvy, responsible gal, but when those pot holders go on 2 for 1, all of the sudden you’re a reckless kitchen bitch. It’s just science.
Sometimes a good bargain is all it can take to brighten your day. As a mom, a good sale is one of the few things that can give you a rush that makes you feel like a kid again. This is why we get excited by things like new cleaning supplies. If it’s on sale for a good price, we don’t care what it is – we love it, and it’s ours!
1. You just sit back and let the store tell you how many hundreds of bottles you need
[Bath & Body Works]
Me: I need a bottle of body lotion for my wife.
S: These are Buy 3 Get 1 Free.
Me: I just need this one here
S: That's not Buy 3 Get 1 but it IS Buy 1 Get 2 and if you buy this one here it's Buy 2 Get 3 Free.
Me [leaving with 300 bottles]: how did this happen
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 21, 2018
2. If it’s on sale, then it has a home here
I don't know what it is either, but it was on sale.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) February 10, 2013
3. Saving a few bucks is a very underrated aphrodisiac
I used a coupon and my husband fell in love with me all over again.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) January 6, 2018
4. Sale doesn’t always mean a good deal, ya feel?
Don't worry guys, my wife says she didn't pay too much for that shirt at Kohl's because the normal price was $975 but it was on sale.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) February 5, 2016
5. I’ll take pretty much anything if it’s a bargain
Look pal, I'm not interested in what you're selling.
Unless it's on sale, in which case, please continue.
— Healthy Living for Hot Messes (@HLFHM) June 7, 2018
6. *SWOONS FOREVER*
How to impress a woman on a first date: "I'll pick up this $200 tab."
How to impress your wife: "This pizza was on sale & I used a coupon."
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 20, 2016
7. Murphy’s Discount Law
Sorry. This discount code does not apply to anything you're buying.
– me, trying to use any discount code anywhere for anything
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) December 23, 2019
8. ALL the endorphins and red tags
I may not have ACTUALLY won the lottery, but finding a bin full of children’s gloves for sale for $1 a pair near the grocery store checkout sure feels like I did.
— Sara Says Stop (@PetrickSara) November 13, 2017
9. The sale part IS the seller, don’t you understand??
Wife: I bought salt and vinegar chips. They were on sale.
Me: None of us like those.
Wife: Maybe you didn't hear me. They were on sale.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 19, 2017
10. It’s like a dopamine-inducing treasure hunt that will flare up your IBS – FUN!
I enjoy hunting for artifacts. And by that I mean buying expired bags of "kid favorite" flavored Jelly Bellies at discount clothing stores.
— Walking Outside in Slippers (@WalkingOutside) June 13, 2017
11. Same girl, same
I talk a lot of shit for someone that convinces myself that I’m actually saving money by buying double the items because of a sale.
— Maryfairyboberry (@MaryJustice86) June 20, 2019
12. It’s simply against the code to not communicate a good discount
My mom & I were in a months-long feud last yr & she broke the ice to tell me my fave face-wash was on sale. It was the most mom thing ever.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) November 15, 2016
Don’t forget that sharing is caring!
Just as you’d share a good bargain, don’t forget to spread a couple of laughs by sharing this post! And the best part – IT’S FREE! What a steal!