Humor Parenting Tweets

These Funny Tweets About Shopping At The Mall Will Have You LOL-ing

Well, it’s the holiday season. The time when we pack up our kin and flock to that terrible, forbidden place known as “the mall.”

The mall is a place that we loved as teens; however, as adult parents it’s like an alternate dimension of walking in circles, losing all your money, and grimacing at the latest fashion. TASSELS CAN’T COME BACK, WE HAVE TO STAY VIGILANT!

If you have kids, the mall becomes even worse. If you thought your kids were a pain in the ass at home, throw some food court carbs on them and just you wait to see what they become. It’s harrowing!

But the holidays are coming, which means our bank accounts have to be drained somewhere. Despite our best efforts, online shopping just won’t do. So on we trudge to angrily circulate the parking lot in the sole hopes of finding a mediocre gift that costs too much before we give ourselves the gift of self-inflicted diarrhea courtesy of some questionable lo mein on a Styrofoam plate.

Although the mall is a place where your peace and your budget go to die, it is a necessary evil this time of year. Unless you take the plunge and decide that you’re going to be a minimalist-by-proxy – a noble route to take when confronted with the scourge of the mall.

1. It’s an endless wasteland

2. Keep your men close

3. It’s a close second in the pain department

4. If you even make it into the mall you’ve already won

 

5. Everyone seems helpful, but how about you do some shit I could really use?

6. If you bring your husband, don’t expect shit

7. There WILL be tantrums

8. …And a lot of sidetracking

 

9. Nobody will pay the proper respects to fashion when it comes to parking etiquette

10. And you will DEFINITELY feel old

11. However, at least there are other people in this boat

12. And if you’re alone, then it’s practically a vacation

13. It might get hairy, not gonna lie

 

Although the mall is a trial, just remember: You are strong and can do hard things.

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