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Two-Year-Old Earns PhD in Sharing

By Jocelyn Jane Cox of The Home Tome PRATICK, NEW YORK – Two-year-old Aiden Scorci recently became the youngest person in the country to earn a PhD. The degree was in Sharing. The coursework included: –Handing Over a Toy That You Really Really Really Want 101 –Advanced Workshop in Taking Turns […]

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Mother Cleans House, Upsets Neighbors, Universe

By E. R. Catalano of Zoe vs. the Universe SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Bay Area mother Loretta Turner, 37, was seen to be fuming following a playdate for her daughter at a neighbor’s home. From their arrival, she said, she’d felt ambushed. “Her house was spotless!” Ms. Turner explained, visibly shaken. In […]

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Scientists Identify And Seek To Destroy “Ginger Gene”

By Melissa Coble of An Unfit Parent NORMAN, Okla. – Researchers at the University of Oklahoma’s Advanced Center for Genome Technology announced today that they believe they have located the gene mutation responsible for red hair. “This is a huge advancement in genome technology,” declared top scientist Dr. Fredrick Endering.  “We believe […]

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BREAKING: Paula Deen Still Racist As F*ck

By Abby Byrd of Little Miss Perfect Celebrity chef Paula Deen is once again under fire, this time from parents who say she made inappropriate comments to children who attended her cooking camp. Deen established the camp late last year in response to a public outcry over remarks about slavery. […]