Two-Year-Old Earns PhD in Sharing

By Jocelyn Jane Cox of The Home Tome

PRATICK, NEW YORK – Two-year-old Aiden Scorci recently became the youngest person in the country to earn a PhD. The degree was in Sharing.

The coursework included:

–Handing Over a Toy That You Really Really Really Want 101
–Advanced Workshop in Taking Turns
–Graduate Seminar: Not Throwing a Tantrum if Things don’t Go Exactly as You Hoped

Dr. Aiden wrote his dissertation on Suggesting Other Options. In other words, if you don’t want to give up the puzzle you are currently solving, find another puzzle for the other child to play with. He defended his paper earlier this week at a toddler playgroup, with several other mothers on the panel. One of them told us, “He has an impressive handle on this subject matter and some groundbreaking perspectives. We predict he will pursue a career in the non-profit realm, or in International Relations. Either way, he is obviously destined to do great things.”

Dr Aiden’s mother, Roslyn Scorci, told us while beaming, “Obviously we are very proud of our son. This took a lot of work and seemed like it would never happen. As with any advanced degree, you really have to give your whole life over to it. We are impressed with his dedication and admire how far he has come. Believe me, it hasn’t been easy.”

Scorci continued with tears in her eyes, stating that she just wanted her son to have opportunities and go farther than she ever had. “Sharing is obviously just as difficult, if not more difficult, than rocket science. In fact, I’m not exactly an expert at it and very few people on this planet are. I think we all want our kids to go beyond our wildest dreams.”

In his honor, they held a graduation party, which included an abundance of toys. We caught up with the family there, where we were told, confidentially, that they almost didn’t invite any other kids, just in case Dr. Aiden demonstrated a momentary lapse in sharing.

“Can PhDs be revoked?” Scorci asked self-consciously while prying the ball another child was playing with out of her son’s surprisingly strong arms.


About the Author

Jocelyn Jane Cox is the mother of a toddler, a figure skating coach, and a nap-time writer with a weird penchant for decorative mushrooms. She is the author of The Homeowner’s Guide to Greatness and blogs about the adventures of parenting and home-ownership at The Home Tome. She can also be found on Twitter and Facebook.