By Melissa Coble of An Unfit Parent
NORMAN, Okla. – Researchers at the University of Oklahoma’s Advanced Center for Genome Technology announced today that they believe they have located the gene mutation responsible for red hair.
“This is a huge advancement in genome technology,” declared top scientist Dr. Fredrick Endering.
“We believe it will be possible to completely eliminate red hair the world over within one generation, two at most. This will, of course, require people to have genetic testing prior to conceiving, but we feel once they hear the benefits involved, that won’t really be an issue.”
When pressed for further explanation, Dr. Kelly Sanders, Dr. Endering’s assistant, explained. “Red hair is not considered to be a desirable trait by many parents or necessarily by society in general. Red haired people are know to be obstinate, difficult, bad-tempered, and in one recent study from Germany, left-handed! Given a choice, these are traits that most, if not all, parents would like to avoid passing along to their offspring.”
While the researchers at the University of Oklahoma continue their work, the International Redhead Society has lodged a formal protest with the President of the University.
“We, as redheaded people, are deeply offended and incensed by this research,” Bonnie McCullough, President of the IRS declared. “We insist that the university cease and desist this line of inquiry immediately!”
The International Redhead Society has set up a protest area in front of the science laboratory and declared that all 250 protesters present will stay and continue to disrupt the work being done there until all research on red-hair genes has ended.
Dr. Endering sent out a statement today to the media that reads in part, “And just look at the protests! That proves our point about the difficulty of dealing with red-haired people. We will be hailed by future generations of parents as great scientists for eliminating this defect from the human race while having to work under such distressing conditions!”
University President Buck Stokes has refused all comment at this time; however, it has been rumored that he is in discussion with two major pharmaceutical companies for the rights to develop a prenatal test based on this information.
It is expected to provide a significant windfall for the university, which most likely will be used for the football program.
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About the Author
Melissa Coble is a mom living in Phoenix, Arizona just trying to survive the teenage years with a lot of laughs, an occasional rant, and copious amounts of wine. You can find her counting the days until her nest is empty on her blog An Unfit Parent and on Facebook.